Page 48 of Evan

“Oh.” Sitting on the edge of her desk, she drew in a breath and let it out. He looked haggard and disheveled, unlike the neat and tidy man she was accustomed to.

He was wearing a thin cream sweater and jeans, but it was wrinkled as if he had just dragged it out of the dryer and his hair was tousled as if he had spent the time running his fingers through the thick strands.

“Where is her husband?”

“At the morgue.” Pastor William went to the small table and poured a cup of coffee. “It has been a very long day.”

“That poor family.” Everett’s had been going through a lot over the past three years. First, they lost their home in a fire that had taken everything from them. The entire community and the church had bonded together and repaired the house. Fortunately, the family had been away at the time.

Afterwards when they were recovering from that devastation of nature, Alton Everett lost his job due to a fall that had broken his hip and left him limping and having constant health problems.

A year later, Shirley had been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer that had progressed rapidly. Now she was dead, leaving the family adrift. Shirley had been the heart and soul of the family and now she was gone.

“I know we are supposed to rejoice whenever a saint has passed away, but right now, I need a minute or two or even a day to come to grips with the plan of the Lord.”

Putting the folders away, Cassandra felt as if the weight of the world was pressing on her chest. She had always been well-behaved, always followed the dictates of the Bible and whatever was taught. But right now, she felt adrift herself.

“It’s not about me. Alton and his children are the ones going through all of it and we have to show them our support.”

“They will.” He agreed, watching her curiously as she rearranged everything on her desk. First, she moved the folders and stacked them neatly so that the corners lined up precisely together.

Then there were the notebooks she insisted on using to take her notes. His frown deepened when she reached into the drawer on her left to take out a Clorox bottle with wipes and started to clean the already glossy desk.

“Cassie?”

“Yes?” She did not look up from her frenzied task.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

Putting away his cup, he walked over and placed a hand over hers to stop the constant motion. “Please talk to me.”

Pulling her hand from under his, she tilted her head to stare at him.

“I admired you.” She spoke softly, feeling the burning sensation inside her chest. Her eyes wandered over his lined face. It looked as if he had aged years in just two weeks. He looked tired, his eyes bloodshot.

“I barely stopped myself from putting you on a pedestal. But you were the one who said to me that you don’t deserve it. That the only one who deserves my unrestricted and absolute devotion was the Lord. But you came second. You were a great dad and a wonderful husband.

Or so I thought. Until you started to fall apart. I understand that it must have been completely devastating to you and the rest of the family. I am part of that family, and I mourned Chad’s death. I had a crush on him…” her eyes sparkled with tears and her throat felt tight.

“He was like a brother to me, so I had to ignore the fluttery feeling inside my stomach. He would laugh at me and told me that one day I was going to find a guy who was worthy of me. I knew that Darcy resented me and felt that I had taken her place.”

She was too near to him and wanted space. Pushing back her chair, she rose and went to get a glass of water. Staying next to the small table, she looked at him. “I also know you have broken your vows to your wife.” She took a swallow of the water and almost choked. The look on his face broke her heart.

He was a good man who was trying to do the right thing, but he was failing and that was getting to her. The rumors were flying around, whispers about the family and if it continues, it will destroy the ministry.

She had seen it happen, men of God falling further and further away from their calling and bringing down an entire ministry with them. She loved him too much to just stand by and let it happen.

“Cassie.” His voice was hoarse and right before her eyes, he aged even more. Sitting on the edge of the desk, he hunched his shoulders and buried his face in his hands.

It was early afternoon, and she was not expecting anyone, but on the off chance that someone pops in, she would never like them to see their pastor in this defeated position.

She opened her mouth to say as much, but he lifted his head just then, his eyes moist with tears. “I am stepping down.” The finality in his voice had her staring at him in shock.

“No.” She shook her head hard. “That is not the answer. Pastor…”

“I have to.” He drew in a breath and struggled to compose himself. “Yes, I have been seeing someone who is not my wife. I have gone further than adultery. I have fallen in love with her. She is there for me and at this point, I need someone.” He rubbed his hands over his denim clad thighs, his chin wobbling.

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