Page 45 of Evan

“My Sunday school kids.” She paused significantly and he waited, sensing she needed clarification. “Evan, this is not fair to you, and I cannot expect you to…,” she cleared her throat. “Aren’t you seeing someone?”

“You are referring to Sherry. She is a friend, just that. She is going through a rather painful divorce and asked me to accompany her, and I could not say no. To be honest, I wanted to try and forget you by being with someone else, but it didn’thelp, he laughed ruefully, rubbing his temple with the tips of his fingers.

“So, here we are at this impasse. Everything I do makes society’s pages, no matter how innocent the venture. I am used to it or rather, I tolerate it and ignore it.

But it cannot be that way for you. I don’t want your name smeared all over the rags they call free speech. I am looking out for you and have to note that this is the most unselfish thing I have ever been asked to do.

I cannot be around you and not want to…,” he searched for the right word and came up empty. “Not want you. I see you in my dreams and wake up feeling… hot and uncomfortable. Do you understand what I am trying to say?”

There was silence on her end, and he wondered if she was trying to assimilate the strangeness of their situation. It was testament to how much he wanted her for him to be making what he considers to be the ultimate sacrifice.

It was not just about the physical for him. He wanted her with a desperation that was frightening! But he had to think about her as well, what she would be facing if it was even hinted that they were together.

“I am trying to.” Her soft voice interrupted his musings. “I am yearning for you too. Try and understand this as well, I wanted to just chuck what I hold dear and be with you. If you had…,”

“I know.” He filled in the blanks when her voice petered off. “I felt it and that is when I stopped. If I had continued, we would have ended up in the front of my car and you deserve so much more.” Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes briefly.

“You are the most appealing person I have ever met, and I cannot get you out of my mind. How are you?”

“Better now. Much better.”

He smiled at that. He wanted to ask her if what she said about loving him was true or it was just a spur of the moment thing. But he could not chance.

He would be unable to say it back to her and the last thing he wanted was to hurt her more than he already had. He wanted to protect her from anything and everything. “I am happy for that. Am I keeping you from sleeping?”

She laughed softly.

“Probably, but I want to hear your voice.”

“It’s the same for me. I want to ask what you are wearing, but that would not be a good idea.”

“No. What are you doing?”

“I am supposed to be working out the fine prints of a contract and not getting anywhere. We have a fleet of lawyers for this sort of thing, but I studied law at Harvard and prefer to go over the contracts myself to see if there is anything they missed.

We are taking over an airline that has been limping for the past ten years, barely hanging on by a thread and the accounts are in the worst tangle I have ever encountered. It’s a wonder they are still in operation.”

“Hearing you talk about taking over an airline brings me back to the fact that we are worlds apart.”

Lifting a hand, he rubbed the back of his neck. “Does my status frighten you, little one?” He asked her softly.

He waited while she paused again and could almost picture her pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. Sighing softly, he forcibly put that disturbing memory away.

“Whenever we have been together – at the chapel and that time we were having the picnic, you were just someone I love to be with and that is it. But ever since you left, I have been tormenting myself by reading up on you.

The companies you took over, the resources you have at your disposal, and it shows me that I – we…” She stopped, and he waited. “How is this going to work? Am I kidding myself about us? Is there an ‘us’? What are we doing?”

“I cannot believe you are second guessing yourself.” He chided gently. “You are the positive one. I have been reading up about your God. I don’t own a Bible of course, but there are different versions on the internet, and I am trying to understand what you are so fascinated about.

There are some things I don’t get, such as why did He place a tree inside the Garden of Eden if he knew it was going to be a source of temptation for the couple? Why did Cain commit fratricide? Couldn’t he have stopped it?”

Her soft laughter had him smiling. “I have asked Him all those questions myself. In order to understand the complexity of the Bible, I had to seek help from experts and pray forunderstanding from the Holy Spirit. We can make salvation as simple or as complicated as we want. The simple explanation is that we were made with free will.

We get to make choices because the Lord wants us to want to be in a relationship with him. And we have sinned and come short of the glory of God. We are a fallen people, imperfect and flawed.”

She paused again. “I teach Sunday school, and my kids are very curious, they have an incredible aptitude for learning. Because of that, I must do my research. Which is very good because I am learning in the process. I am happy you are reading on things for yourself.”

“That’s not all I am reading Cassandra.” His voice had turned sober. “Whenever we extend a helping hand or take an interest in something, whether it be business or an individual, we do our research and it’s pretty much comprehensive.” He paused and pushed forward to lean a hand on the desk.

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