Page 46 of Scars of the Sun

If he’d been in front of me, I would’ve chewed him out, but behind my screen, I snickered.

Me

You’re an ass. And I’d rather experience all of that in person.

My brother cleared his throat, and I clutched my phone to my chest, as if he could somehow see what I was talking about.But he was busy retrieving the selected stain for this project and the needed brushes for application. “I’m not teaching any courses this summer. They’ve got some summer programs at the Montessori school, so Dahlia and Ollie will still go, just not as much.” I nodded, though he wasn’t facing me. He coughed again and settled everything on the work table. “And… I’ll be pulling back from most of my classes in the fall semester.”

I straightened, the hitching tone of his voice making me take notice. “Um, okay…”

He swallowed, face scrunched as he worked out what to say. “I’ve been… having a difficult time. Doing everything.”

I froze, and my stomach dropped. The dry, sure note of my brother’s voice was gone. Instead it was raspy and uncertain. The glass edge of his jaw was clenched beneath the short stubble of his beard, and his fingers tapped and knocked against the thick slab of the table.

“Are… you okay?”

Orion exhaled and set the wood stain between us, a brush for me to use before me. His nod was a quick twitch. “Yes. I think this will help.” He gestured to the crib and the rest of the shed around us. “Since I’ve gotten back to carpentry, I’ve taken on commissions from the pack and humans in this town. Teaching and taking care of the pack has been… a lot.”

That made sense. I picked up the brush and twisted it, trying to work out something helpful to say. I knew that my brother had his own challenges, but since I’d been old enough to recognize it, he’d already found ways to navigate and cope. To embrace what made him different to the point that it wasn’t something I thought much about anymore.

But I also knew that he was most comfortable by himself or with his mate and children. Between leading classes every day and a whole group of peopleoutsideof his family, I was overwhelmed just thinking about it.

I’d no clue that he was struggling to the point of having to pull back from his job, though.

“Uh… is it,” I chewed at my lip and forced the words out. If he asked me, I would follow through. “Do you need me to go? I don’t want to put too much on your plate.”

Orion had started tapping the handle of his own brush on the table, watching the jumping with unseeing eyes. At my question, though, the rhythm stuttered, fell. “No.” He dipped the brush in the can of stain and started applying it in steady strokes to one of the legs of the crib. “Sylvie suggested the idea, and I talked it over with Chris. They both suggested I adjust to the idea by telling a few people.”

“Chris?” I asked as I dipped my own brush in the stain.

“An elder member of the pack. It’s not like I can talk to a human therapist about these things. I trust his wisdom enough, though. And Sylvie noticed before I did.”

We descended into silence again, spreading an even coat that turned the light wood to a darker, richer color. It wasn’t like I had a… preference or something. In regard to Sylvie’s or Orion’s schedule. She worked from home, so we ended up spending the most time together, but if he was home more, I was content to leave him his space or help him like I had today.

After finishing the two legs and wall on my side, an uncomfortable twist of my stomach flung my gaze back to my brother. He was making progress far faster than I, already halfway through the second wall of spindles and railing. “Why are you telling me this,” I demanded.

He said nothing. Didn’t even look up at me, but he didn’t have to.

We weren’t the type of siblings to talk about this shit, and, and, if I hadn’t caved toSylvie’s prodding about my feelings, Icertainlywasn’t going to fall to some crafty strategythey’d concocted behind my back. The wooden handle of the paintbrush snapped between my fingers.

No, there was no way I was going to talk about it with them. I’d never judge my brother for getting the help he needed or pulling back where he could, but it didn’t mean he was allowed to… back me into a corner so that I’d have to see the worry or pity or?—

“I just needed to say it out loud.” He nodded to himself, as if he couldn’t hear or scent the panic of my heartbeat or panting. “And I knew you wouldn’t think less of me for it. Thank you.”

Eyes wide, I sniffed repeatedly, tasting the air surrounding us. True to his word, his scent rang with the steady calm of gratitude, like the magenta sunset end of summertime.

He didn’t push me to talk, didn’t ask questions or request for me to spill my guts in return, even as I kept pausing my brushstrokes to warily glance his way. The scars beneath my sleeves itched, but we finished the wood staining without me having to reveal them or the darkness that led to their creation.

After we put everything away and closed up the shed, to return to once the stain was dry, Orion and I walked side-by-side to the cabin under the sky that was a deep tangerine. The small, too-soft voice in my head wondered if remaining silent was such a good thing.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

RAMONA

The heavy clouds overhead provided enough cover so that Dahlia and I weren’t completely baking while we finished yet another revolution around the skate park. The flat surfaces, anyway.

We’d graduated to me being able to have my skates on as I led her around and around and picked her up when she fell. The sturdy trooper that she was, no tears or chin-wobbles came with the wipe-outs. Just me helping her dust off, and we went again. Instead of my headphones, I kept my phone, speaker up, tucked into my back pocket so that we could glide to the same beat. I’d even bought myself a helmet, knee, and elbow pads so that she’d feel less self-conscious being the only one with safety gear on.

“Atta go, pipsqueak!” I smirked as I kept my hand steady so that Dahlia could cling to it. Río entered the park, grin wide and hair tied up into a long, swinging ponytail. My body started turning towards him, which happened to veer Dahlia and I straight toward a rail. I corrected our path before we could collide with it, though she was almost short enough to skate right on underneath.

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