Page 35 of In the Light of the Moon

Sylvie, answer the phone.

I clucked my tongue at those last two, the commanding text specifically sending an annoying flittering across my chest. Oh, now he wanted to speak with me.

“If you’d be so inclined, please join us now for a reception hour with the writers who you listened to tonight. Refreshments are in the back, please help yourselves,” the head of undergraduate studies for the English department stood from their seat and announced to the rest of the room.

Those beside me on the ugly plaid couch stood, so I followed. It took a moment for the makeshift aisle to clear, but I made sure to keep my gaze anywhere but where I knew Orion was sitting amongst some of the other professors that were present.

Now, everyone was either congratulating their friends that had participated in the reading or made their way to the tables at the back of the room for hors d’oeuvres. Out of my periphery, I caught him watching me, not even paying attention to the TA from one of my classes who was talking to him.

I walked in the opposite direction and struck up a conversation with one of the presenters, expressing my admiration for his poetry piece that chronicled the seasons of his life and the ebbing of his mental health. It was one of those that I happened to pay attention for, and I inquired about his inspiration, anything to keep from becoming cornered into forgiving Orion.

Things had been going so well, and then radio silence. My gut reaction was to reason that there was surely an explanation. That he was very obviously interested in me.

But I was hurt, all right? I thought I deserved to feel that way. And to inflict a little bit of that pain onto him.

Not to mention, that, though he wasn’tmyteacher, I was an undergraduate student. And he was a professor. It wasn’t a secret that we had been dating, but it felt improper to flaunt it here.

Are we even dating anymore?I scoffed internally at myself and grinned wider at the guy that had no trouble going on and on about his work to me and a few others that had gathered around to speak with him.

“Sylvie,” Orion’s low voice made a shiver go down my spine, and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself centered in the moment. To not sink into a puddle of longing.

A few people’s eyes flickered to where Orion was standing behind me, and the social pressure to turn to him grew too much to resist. I flipped my hair over my shoulder while I turned to gaze up at him over my back. “Yes?” His pale jaw was clenched, and he didn’t look at the few who were still giving the two of us curious glances while our classmate prattled on.

“Can I speak to you for a moment?” He put his hands in his pockets, eyes not flinching once from mine.

Dammit, dammit, dammit, “Sure,” I croaked and followed him away from the group. I crossed my arms and pinched the skin of my biceps through my cropped sweater. There was no harm in talking, fine. But I wasnotgoing to give in. To let him get out of this.

At least, not too easily or without explanation, I amended.

We stopped just before the back corner of the room. We’d talked between my classes some, but having a conversation about our relationship during a department event felt like some… declaration or something.

“Sylvie. I’m sorry that I haven’t been communicating with you. I turned off my phone since I wouldn’t be able to contact you while I was camping.” His hands were still in his pockets, but he looked down at me, eyes pleading. The aroma of cigarettes trailed off of his breath, but mixed with the spice and musk of his cologne, it smelled like what I imagined an expensive cigar would be like. Or that, but combined with the deepest, coziest autumn evening.

But, no, I wasnotgoing to get reeled in with just a breadcrumb that wasn’t even that. When he told me that he would be away, I hadn’t realized it would feel like he dropped off the face of the earth. I lifted a sardonic brow, and I saw that the expression took him aback. His full lips flattened into a tight line. “Camping. Where.”

He ran a hand up the back of his head, ruffling some of the curls that were longer on the top. My eyes narrowed at the movement, trying to decide if it was just a nervous tic or a tell of a lie. “About two hours north of here,” he cleared his throat and dropped the hand.

Though my heart was beating frantically at being near him again, speaking to him again after what felt like such a long time and none at all, dread clenched in my stomach. The whole thing was hurtful no matter which way I looked at it, the worst part being that it all didn’t feel like the truth in the first place.

I sighed through the ache and smoothed a hand over my skirt, “That sounds like bullshit, Orion.”

“It’s not,” a round of laughter behind me made its way over to us, and I saw his eyes harden. His voice grew about ten degrees colder, and he jutted his chin over my head, “I didn’t have any signal, and I like to go pretty frequently. Seems like you’ve been fine, though.”

I whirled my head around to see what the hell he was even talking about, but it was just that guy still talking to some of our classmates.

Realization burned my face, flushing my cheeks and sending my mind reeling. I’d barely even been paying attention to what I was saying before. Just letting the laughs and conversation come to keep from letting my body drift over to Orion.

I turned to look back up at him, “Are you kidding me? I called and texted, and you didn’t respondonce. What the fuck is your problem?”

He actually flinched, but he gathered himself quickly and spoke low and in opposition to my rising pitch, “Sylvie, I’m sorry,” he said through his teeth, “I didn’t—I didn’t mean for you to worry.”

But I’d heard enough. I gave him a moment, to see if he’d say anything else. Offer any kind of truth or detail to explain where he’d gone.

Before I could give him a cutting remark and put him further into his place, someone sidled up beside me, clearly unaware of what they were interrupting. “Dr. Gealach,” the student butchered his name, but I knew that wasn’t why Orion stood tense, nearly snarling at the interruption.

“Yes?” He reluctantly tore his eyes away from me and was soon swept into the student making their case for an extension on an analysis paper for his class.

I slipped away just as Orion interrupted the unprepared man to state that he wouldn’t be offering an extension unless he could provide a more solid excuse as to why he couldn’t finish his work on time.

---