Page 20 of Santa Is A Sl*t

“What did you get?” I ask her.

Some people are judgmental about coffee orders.

But not me. I try something new on every menu, anytime I’m in a coffee shop. Today, it’s the pumpkin spice latte.

And honestly? It tastes…artificial. Disappointing. Which seems ridiculous as pumpkin is an elite flavor. I guess I’ll just stick to the pie.

Noel’s voice knocks me out of my internal battle against the P.S.L. '“A vanilla lavender latte.”

That sounds like a perfume, not a beverage.

Oh, maybe I am a judgmental coffee person. Shame. It makes sense, I had to have at least one flaw. I can’t be excellent at everything.

“Did you ask me for a coffee date because of last night?” She asks.

One thing I admire about Noel is her confidence. Instead of being shy or avoiding the topic, she meets it head-on.

Shaking my head, I go with honesty, “No. Kind of.”

She puts her elbows on the table and places her face in the palms of her hands with an amused look on her face. “Well, I’m all ears.”

This feels scarier than it did ten minutes ago but I’m not going to hold back. If she rejects us, that’s her right.

“I know you have a couple of days off from work,” I start. “Do you think that maybe while you’re away, you could be thinking about the future?”

“It might be hard to believe, Kane,” she says with a tilt of her head, “I’ve been thinking about the future a lot lately.”

With an encouraging smile, I nod for her to continue.

Noel takes a sip of her latte before looking at me thoughtfully. “I am ready to make some changes. It’s something I’ve been considering for a while but recent events have helped me find some clarity.

“Clarity is good,” I tell her as I reach for her hand, wanting to be as supportive as I can be.

“My roommate is moving out to live with her boyfriends. She doesn’t stay at our apartment much anyway but we’ve lived together for pretty much our entire adult lives. It got me thinking about how empty my place feels.”

Pulling away from me, she sits back in her booth and I give her the time she needs to figure out what she wants to say next.

“I don’t know, Kane. I’m starting to realize it’s not just the apartment that’s empty. I feel empty too.”

She looks so damn sad when she says it and it makes me want to scoop her up and hold her but I hesitate.

Noel just said she feels empty though. So I climb out of my seat and move into hers, pulling her into me.

“It’s okay. We’ll figure everything out.” I don’t think much about my wording but she catches it.

“We?”

I look down to where her head is resting on my shoulder. “Yeah, we. If you wanted us to, Noel. We’d be there for you anytime you needed. I really mean that.”

She lifts her head to study my face. I’m not sure what she finds but she rests her head again after a few seconds.

“I believe you, Kane. I feel like my whole world might change soon. I want to find something more stable that can make me happy while making enough money to live comfortably on my own.”

Noel’s definitely been thinking about things. I’m shocked to hear she might leave SantaScape.

“The downfall of adulting, I guess,” I say sympathetically.

She lets out a quiet laugh. “Earlier this week, I thought it was the end of the world. As much as I hate to admit it, I was scared. All of these changes and decisions have been overwhelming.”

---