Page 76 of Caged in Flames

Chapter Thirty Five

Ican feel my entire body vibrating with…something….

Need? Hate? Anger?

What does he mean when he says he wants to give me everything? Charlie only knows pain and destruction. I can’t take any more of that.

Are his confessions another show? I look around the room, but I don’t see any cameras this time.

Just Charlie.

"Phoenix, please…" He’s getting closer to me now, but I refuse to cower this time.

I stare at the one person it's always been too easy to hate. Resent. Fucking Charlie. "What?"

"I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you, and I know I can't ever really make it up to you.”

I don’t understand. His truths have only brought up more questions. No matter what he’s said, whatever justifications he’s provided. It doesn’t erase the past.

He shakes his head. “I let all of this anger consume me for years. You didn't deserve anything that's happened to you. I just wanted you to know how I justified it all in my head. How I got Jude and Sawyer to go along with it."

That’s another matter on its own. He isn’t responsible for their choice to go along with his fucked-up plan. They did that on their own.

The idea of confronting them about it brings up anger. But it hurts too. As if the last few weeks didn’t happen.

He and his friends pushed me to my breaking point because he's spent years thinking he and his mom would be left by the same man I was? Because his homewrecker of a mother is insecure in her own marriage?

"He gave you his name, Charlie. You live in the home he bought for his family. The family that he chose. While my mom and I did everything we could to stay positive in a town where everyone decided that we weren't good enough because that man didn't want us."

"I know-"

Why do people say that? No one can really know anything until you tell them. So, I’ll do that. Then he will know.

Know exactly what that fear feels like. Because I lived it.

"No, you don't. You've grown up in the position I was born for. You took my place. I wasn't good enough, but you were.” My hands are in my hair, pulling at the root. “I got into this school on my own merit. I had to earn the place that my father bought for you. I work my ass off in class, in lessons, in everything. You breeze in here and do whatever the fuck you want because he. Picked. You."

I’m close to the edge now. It’s been a day full of emotions and I need to catch my breath.

His head shakes on his shoulders. Shoulder that still seem steady even despite the conversation. It’s unfair. “It doesn’t mean I was happy either. For years, I was still fucking alone in that house. Learning that the girl who haunted our family home wouldn’t ever be there to make it less lonely, and then hearing that I could have had a sibling fucked with me.” His voice is starting to sound angry and I don’t know that I’m ready to take this further than a conversation right now.

“I’m sorry you grew up so alone, Charlie, but it doesn’t change everything you’ve done. Everything Richard did.” I tell him honestly.

"Phoenix, I realize that…now. I fucking hate that it's taken me this long. Especially now…" He trails off, but there’s something in his eyes that’s equally terrifying and alluring.

"Especially now? What is now?" I can’t help it. It doesn’t matter how ominous the words sound, I still want to know what else he could say.

This time he gets as close to me as possible. I move until my back is against the wall.

His arms come up on either side of me, blocking me in. "Now that my best friends have completely fallen for the girl I crave more than anything." His head leans down until his nose is right by my ear.

It’s too much. I can feel his breath on my shoulder. See the rise of his chest.

He reaches one hand towards my own slowly, turning my arm over until he can see my wrist. The noise he emits isn’t human. It’s animalistic growl.

I. Cannot. Breathe.

Lifting my eyes, I meet his gaze head on for the first time since we entered his room. I’ve been avoiding it and I should have kept it that way. Searching for the cruelness in his eyes that I’m so used to, but it isn't there. I can feel my heart hoping that this is real.

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