All so I can do what? Feel normal?
All these people around me can laugh and joke and not fall prey to their own feelings. They can walk around and don’t even have to pretend that everything is fine. For them, it just is.
I get it. Normal is fucking lame, but sometimes I’d rather be lame than feel crazy. Fuck. If I could just feel like I’m not trapped in my own head. As if I’m not burning in a cage of my own making.
I could get up and pretend for the people around me today. I don’t have the energy though. Thinking about moving is draining. I hear my phone buzz for the fourth time, so I am assuming Jane has noticed I won't be making it to breakfast.
With all the energy I have, I roll over and grab it. I send a good morning text to check in with my mom so she doesn't worry.
Then I send a group text to Jane and Gunner letting them know I'm not feeling well, so I won't be in classes for the day.
I need everyone to stay away. I need to find a way to still feel like a person and not everyone’s least favorite problem.