Page 38 of Caged in Flames

Chapter Eighteen

Iwait patiently for the screen to load, the spinning wheel taking forever to connect. After a few more seconds, Dr. Grace’s face appears on the screen.

Her hair is in two mini pigtails. It reminds me of a toddler’s hair when their mom’s try styling it even though they only have a few hairs to begin with.

“Nix! It’s great to see you today!” Her voice is filled with enthusiasm. It’s only been a couple of weeks since our last check in, but she sounds sincere.

As if having to talk to me isn’t a job so much as a conversation with someone she genuinely cares for. Not like she normally treats me any differently, but I’m starting to feel a little sappy over it.

“Hi, Dr. Grace.” I’ve been lost in thought for at least a minute.

“How are you?” Again, she speaks to me like we are having a casual conversation.

“I’m doing okay. Lots of homework. I’ve made a new friend.” I haven’t spoken to her about Jane. I guess some part of me wanted to test the friendship. If it failed, I didn’t want to have to explain that it didn’t work out.

I didn’t want to feel like I failed at making a friend. Something most kids master in kindergarten.

I tell her about Jane’s nose booping and Dr. Grace giggles. Honestly, the two of them are ridiculously similar. But I draw the line at having my therapist booping me on the nose. That’s definitely a Jane only thing.

“She sounds good for you.” I agree with her.

Here at Blisshaven, friendships aren’t real. Not among the girls at least. They’re alliances.

Someone might have your back in the hallway, but they’d be on their back for your boyfriend in a heartbeat if it suited them.

That’s not a girl gang I want to be a part of. I’ve read about friendships before. Where you’d do anything for each other. Shutting down sleazebags, talking about dick sizes, driving the getaway car, burying a body…

Okay, maybe those aren’t all realistic. Though, it’s hard to say where Jane would draw the line.

“She is.” It feels good to say that. Like acknowledging this to Dr. Grace is another step to recovery.

Can make friends. Check.

“And are you good for her?” There’s nothing but polite curiosity in her tone.

The question catches me off guard. “What do you mean?”

“Well, a friendship should be equal, right? Are you also good for Jane?” She’s right. Clearly, we both know I need a little push in the friend department. It’s embarrassing that my therapist has to coach me on this, but I’m grateful she is pointing it out to me.

So far, Jane has been the one to initiate everything. I don’t think she minds, but I can try a little harder to be a good friend to her too.

Having to see the guys in class doesn't bother me. Except for the time Charlie played hero in the hallway, I’ve rarely seen or heard from the guys outside of lunch.

Jude occasionally sits with us at lunch, but he’s quiet about it. Doesn’t stop him from watching me when he thinks I don’t see him.

Or maybe he doesn’t care.

I'm sitting in History, my last class on Mondays, next to Gunner when Coach Pierce decides to ruin my streak of good luck. Not only does he wear the tiniest gym shorts known to man, which show off exactly what he isn't packing, he decides to drop a surprise on the class.

Group Project. Two words that make up an introvert’s worst nightmare.

"Since there's an uneven number, one of your groups will need to be three instead of two. You have two minutes to partner up. Move!"

He passes around a paper with minimal instructions that I'm sure he downloaded off the internet since he doesn't have enough brain to think of something on his own. I’m surprised he doesn’t blow the whistle he’s wearing around his neck as he shouts out the order.

Gunner turns my way, "Looks like I get the prettiest partner in the room."

"Actually, you get two." Of course, Sawyer's confidence wouldn't be emasculated by being labeled pretty. I roll my eyes at him.

---