Page 29 of Caged in Flames

The smile she wore the first time she met Henry proved that she was starting to thrive.

Every week that smile grew brighter and brighter. The dark circles around her eyes began to fade away. She put on weight. Phoenix began to shine through.

She nods at me. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

For the next hour we finish eating and watch something mindless on Netflix. Not that I’m paying any attention to the television. Instead, I’m breathing in the scent of cinnamon latte. I’m watching the way her mouth slowly turns up before she tosses her head back to laugh at the divas on the show.

The movement causes her ass to wiggle against my dick. I squeeze her knee and I see her breath catch just a bit. Using my pointer finger, I trace her name out on the smooth skin. Once I’m done, I start on my own name. Finishing out the last letter brings out a primal possessive feeling, even if it is all invisible, my name is momentarily on her skin.

Her mouth quirks up in a small grin, like she’s thinking the same thing. Fuck. I start counting backwards from one hundred. The last thing I need is to push Nix on anything.

Watching her trade witty comments back and forth with Jane brings a sense of peace around me. When Nix showed up to Blisshaven this year, she assumed she would be on her own. She’s so goddamn brave. I know she could have done it, but I’m happy she didn’t have to. I know just how lucky I am to be here in this moment with her.

A few more episodes later, Jane announces, “Well as fun as this cock blocking has been, I’m going to get out of here.”

Nix laughs at her, lighting up my world with the sound. “Oh, come on, Jane. You know you’re more than welcome to stay and hang out. I have a virtual check in with Dr. Grace soon, but I’m caught up on all the assignments from this week. Feel free to keep watching TV.”

She looks us over for a minute, but heads towards the door anyway. “Nah, I only stayed this long because I was hoping to watch you two get handsy under the blankets. Now I’ve decided that I’d hate to interrupt Gunner’s journey to second base.”

I flip Jane off without even looking back at her. They both giggle and wave goodbye. Once the door closes, I look to Nix. She chews on her lip while looking at me under her lashes and I reach over to hit play on the show.

We only have time for one more episode before she needs to get ready for her appointment, but the entire time Nix is in my lap. She fits perfectly. I’m glad we had just a little more time together, alone. I don't make any more moves towards her, worried it will be too much.

No matter what she said last night, she isn’t ready for us to get physical. If I’m being honest, I don’t think I am either. I'm taking this seriously and I need her to know that. If we jump right into sex, I don’t know that I’d ever be able to control myself around her. The way I feel without adding that element is already so strong.

Doesn't stop the little vixen from teasing me though.

Her hand skirts around my neck, catching on the chain there. "I've always wondered what this is. I always see it hiding when I try to peek at your tattoos"

I take a short breath before pulling the tags out. She turns them over in her hands. My dad's name is a little faded, but you can still read it. Michael Wright. "They were my dad’s."

"Oh." She doesn't press, but you can hear her curiosity.

"I got them when he died. Besides a few pictures I keep in my room, these are all I have of him." I let my hand come over hers. Not pulling it away, just holding on to the metal with her.

I can’t imagine how hard it is every time Nix opens up to me. What it must take for her to be that vulnerable. Emotionally, we’re on an uneven playing field considering where we met. I decide to give her that same respect.

I’ve only talked about this with the child psychologist the Army recommended after my dad was found. "He died when I was ten. Served in the military for over half his life, but he was never the same after that last tour in Afghanistan."

Nix stays silent, letting me continue. "All I know is that when he left, he was still the same dad that liked to play outside with me on the weekends. When he came back, he was a stranger. My mom tried to get him help, but he always wanted to be alone."

I never want to talk about this. I haven't in a long time. It's hard, but not so much when she's in my arms. "One day my mom got a call that they found his truck on the side of the road and he was not in it. After searching the area, they found his body next to the shotgun he took to his head. "

It's silent for what feels like forever before her voice breaks it.

"Is that why you..." She pauses like she's scared to continue.

"Yeah. That's why I volunteered this summer. After watching my parents both struggle, mental health is important to me. I never want to feel so alone in the world that I want to leave it, and I cannot imagine making someone feel that fucking low."

I don’t know that I ever let myself grieve, but I took it better than my mom did.

Her head looks down in shame. "Don't do that. Don't be ashamed. Your past makes you who you are. And I like who you are." My hand lifts her chin to look me in the eyes.

"That's why I have no problem cutting the guys out. Learning that they hurt my Nixy? Done deal." I say the words, but they don’t feel completely true.

She doesn't respond, just continues searching my eyes before nodding at me. We settle back into the couch and finish watching the show.

Once the episode ends, I let her walk me to the door.

“I want you to know what you said last night-” I start.

She cuts me off, “Oh god. No. Let’s not talk about it.”

“Nixy, baby, I want that too. I’m not interested in just that though. This is important. I want to make sure I prove that to you.”

Kissing her cheek, I leave her to get ready for her appointment.

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