Page 27 of Caged in Flames

We would never do half the shit we pulled on her now. For fuck’s sake, every dumbass kid in this school is on pins and needles thinking they might be our next target, and we can't be fucked paying anyone any attention. Even if we felt like tearing someone down, we’re all on thin ice at home, and I am not going back to that shitty boarding school.

"None of us wanted to talk about the shit that happened with Diana…shit, Phoenix. We liked hanging out with you this summer without all our mistakes looming over the conversation. We aren't the same kids that played bully in sophomore year.” I grab my hair at the roots and tug in frustration. I want more from him, but I’m so angry that he would rather pick her side than pay attention to who we are now. “Why are you so invested in the bullshit of playing her bestie?"

For a moment I can see his resolve weaken, but it flees when I spit my jealous vitriol at him. "I'm sorry, Sawyer. Like I said, I don't want to talk to you. I'm tired. Goodnight."

I regret the pettiness before it leaks out, but I don’t stop it. "You sure didn't look tired earlier. Is this all an act to fuck her?"

He pinches his nose and shakes his head. “No, if I heard correctly, that’s more your style.”

Dick. “Yeah, well, you didn’t exactly hate my game when you got off now did you?”

Gunner’s done with this conversation, and snarls at me. “Shut up about that shit. It’s the past.”

The look he gives me is full of disgust, but he doesn’t seem to think I'm worthy of another response. Closing the door to his room behind him, he burns up any hope I had for a normal life in this town.

I head back into my own room, slamming the door on the conversation. I smack my hand against the door, but it doesn’t dull my frustration. I turn away and start tearing at my clothes. Fuck him. Fuck her, too. They can have each other.

I throw my shit across the room, missing the laundry hamper completely.

There’s no reason to care this much, so why the fuck do I? I need to get my mind off of it, and the easiest way would be to lose myself in another body. I don’t want anyone else though. That might be the most frustrating thing about it.

I want ice blue eyes staring into mine when they lose control. I want blonde hair spread out over my bed while we both take our pleasure. I want them both. I guess my hand and I can make do with the memories tonight.

Why am I so fucking jealous? And who am I jealous of?

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