Page 40 of Caged in Flames

Sawyer looks back at Gunner and me. All traces of the monster from just moments ago gone. He smiles at me, probably expecting some sort of thanks.

“I’m going to need you guys to stop coming to my aid as if I can’t speak for myself.” I say it with the same inflection my mom used to use when I didn’t want to do the dishes.

He shoves his hands into his pockets but doesn’t acknowledge my statement. "I guess I will see you both on Wednesday. Or maybe I'll catch you back at the dorm, Gunner." He walks away leaving me to wonder exactly what he means by that last bit.

I look at Gunner, who just shakes his head.

Every time I think I have the nerve to ask him what happened this summer, I remember it isn't my place. I pretend that my gut isn't nudging me to ask for answers, pushing it away while letting him escort me to class.

Once we get to the classroom door, he kisses my head. “I’ll see you later.”

He waves at Jane who is already seated in her normal spot, before walking over to his next class. I hurry over beside her. The professor walks in and sets his bag down on the desk at the front of the room.

"Class, I have an announcement before we get started today."

Dr. Lines is in his early forties, but dresses like a twenty-year-old hipster, which somehow makes him look like the perfect music professor. "We have the annual winter gala in just a few months, and we will be holding auditions soon. This year, we are opening the auditions to the school, and accepting more than just musical performances."

The way he paces around the room would make most kids assume he is nervous, but he's a performer. When the spotlight is on us, the energy coursing through us isn't just nerves. It's a calling.

"Student art will be on exhibit, poetry will be read, and hopefully all of you will make it through the audition process to give a performance. One musical selection will close the night, and I hope you all strive for that spot."

Dr. Lines straightens his bowtie. "For the remainder of our class time, you may begin to plan your audition. As I will be on the panel for this process, everyone in class must audition. I don't care how you do it, but it will be your midterm exam grade."

What is with all of the teachers deciding to drop actual work on us at the same time? I am starting to run through my repertoire in my head when Jane nudges me with her elbow. "I know that you are next level epic on your own, but any chance you'd think of being in a duo with me?"

It shocks me. I've never even thought of performing with someone else and the idea thrills me. "Umm, fuck yes. Closing act here we come." I might sound a little overzealous, but the way her eyes light up reflects my own excitement.

"Awesome." She pulls up a playlist on her phone and gives me one of her headphones. For the next hour of class time, we take notes on several songs. We decide against doing an original piece considering that auditions are just a few weeks away.

I’m nervous working with someone on such a big project, but I’m happy that it’s Jane.

Jane and I both insist on a ballad that showcases not only our instruments, but our voices too. I've never actually sang during a performance. I hid behind my violin and let it paint a musical picture on my behalf, but I don't hide in my own shadow anymore.

That darkness was never my friend. It felt safe because it was familiar, but I've moved past that. I'm reborn.

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