Page 66 of Christmas with my Three Best Friends

“I am. If she has feelings for the three of us, and the three of us are clearly having trouble being without her, why not give it a try for the long term, huh?” I reply with a shrug.

“I’d rather it be the four of us together,” Jax concedes. “We’re stronger and happier together. Hell, I never thought I’d feel this way, but I don’t see a point in fighting these feelings any longer. I tried that, and now Shay’s in Canada trying to get over us.”

“How would it work?” Richard wonders.

“Like it did until now. We each take time with her, we have time together, too. Who knows, we could even move in together. What would that be like?” Jax replies.

My mind wanders into a possible future. I can almost see the sun pouring through the window, casting sparks through her long, sandy-blonde hair as she sips her coffee, wearing nothing but a smile. I can almost see myself holding her close and losing myself in her scent while Jax gets breakfast ready and Richard starts taking his work calls in the den. It may sound crazy, but it’s certainly not impossible.

There are seven days in the week and the possibility of spending a lifetime with Shay. If that involves a compromise here and there, I’d rather it be that than not being with her at all. Love is a funny and crazy thing, so why not play along and see how much we could build together, the four of us? I cherish my friends, I would do anything for them, and they would do the same for me. What happened in Chappaqua couldn’t have been a mere fluke. It felt too intense, too real, too beautiful for it not to last for a lifetime.

“I’m down with whatever the four of us agree on,” I say after a while. “As long as our most precious needs are met. And right now, my most precious need is to have Shay in my life, to be with her, to protect and cherish her the way she deserves to be protected and cherished. We each serve a role in this dynamic. All we have to do is assume it and live by it.”

“Shay has found something in each of us,” Richard agrees. “And that’s what made our relationship special, why we have never felt the need to compete with one another for her attention and her affection.”

“It’ll work if she’ll have us.”

“Alright, then,” Richard concludes. “We’re implementing the marketing plan as soon as she gets back. I’m letting a friend of mine take over the other gym space. And we’re going to Canada this weekend.”

“You’re letting some other dude snatch your precious new gym space?” Jax chuckles.

Richard gives him a shrug. “Meh, I’m not such a big fan of the industrial design, anyway.”

“Excuse me,” the receptionist comes in after a quick knock on the door. “Hi, Marius. Sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to let you know that your next appointment won’t be coming in today. Or for the rest of the week.”

I feel my eyebrows popping up in surprise as I remember precisely who my next appointment is. “Vincent’s not coming in? He never misses a training. Did he give you a reason?”

“Yeah, he said he’s off to Canada for a week,” she replies.

And that’s when the ugliest of truth begins to sink in. One look at Jax and Richard, and I can tell we’re all thinking the same thing. That son of a bitch didn’t stop at flowers and Belgian chocolates. He found out where Shay is staying. It’s no surprise. It shouldn’t be a surprise. He’s a relentless prick, and he’s clearly not done with her.

Richard takes a deep breath and clicks his teeth. “Well, then, I guess we’re headed to Canada today.”

It doesn’t matter that we’re going to have to cancel our appointments for the rest of the day, and probably for tomorrow and the day after, too. It doesn’t matter that I’ll be leaving most of the administrative duties to Lyle and the reception staff. They handled it well during the Christmas holidays. West Key won’t crash and burn for a couple of days in our absence. It doesn’t even matter that the receptionist is staring at us with genuine confusion.

What matters is that Vincent’s got a head start.

And we need to beat him to it.

30

Shay

It will take some time for me to get used to a life without Marius, Jax, and Richard in it. Right now, such a future seems bleak, empty, devoid of everything I knew was good and sweet about drawing each breath. It lacks sense and beauty, and no woman would ever walk willingly in that direction. Yet there’s a considerable possibility that it’s precisely what awaits me.

The child in my womb fills me with hope that they might still be around in one form or another, but even that doesn’t soothe my heart. I never planned for any of this. I didn’t imagine I’d find myself experiencing such profound emotions for not one but three wonderful men. I didn’t imagine I’d wake up every morning with their faces in my head, my body longing for their touch and for the comfort they so easily gave me.

I’m on my own this morning. Cass went into town to buy a few things for dinner, and knowing her as well as I do, she’ll take her sweet time on the way back. It’s a beautiful day outside, with sunny skies over an endless blanket of snow, and there’s a forest stretching east of here she’ll want to explore before she returns to the cabin. She says the trees are like therapy for her, a living and breathing network of inter-connected organisms as old as these lands. She finds silence and peace in her solo trips. She needs the time alone while she’s out her, and I certainly don’t mind warming up by the fireplace, hot chocolate smelling wonderfully in my mug as the mini marshmallows melt into it.

While I’m not sure where the cravings end and my own preferences begin anymore, both the baby and I are in agreement as to the inestimable value of the cocoa bean and its numerous culinary applications. Chuckling, I sink into the armchair and listen to the flames crackle as they consume a recent batch of chopped logs, watching the orange tongues lick at the wood. I lose myself in the moment, wishing I could spend this and every morning thereafter in Marius’s arms, with Jax’s warm breath on my neck, and Richard’s hard body covering mine. How sweet it would have been, if only it had worked out.

“Not again,” I mutter as I feel fresh tears working their way up. It isn’t the first nor the last time I’ll cry for these men, but I do know the pain will eventually wear off. I’ll pull them out of my soul one day. Today isn’t that day, though, so all I can do is blink the tears back and imagine a future where the baby and I get to discover each other, get to grow up together.

This little creature only has me. I need to step up and make sure she or he’s got everything they need and more. I’ll be a better mother than my own, that’s for sure. My baby will grow up to become a good and decent and kind human being. The kind of person who won’t reduce anybody’s value strictly to their looks, their perceived beauty and degree of fitness. The kind of person who will see another person as a whole—the flesh, the mind, and the soul. This world needs more people like my unborn child. Like the person I have always aspired to become.

A knock on the cabin door startles me. It’s not Cassandra. She has keys to the place. The owner isn’t around for at least another week. I get up, feeling my brows furrow as I set the chocolate mug down on the coffee table and walk to the door.

One quick glance out the window is enough to get my heart twisted and tied up into the most unpleasant knots as I recognize Vincent, standing on the porch and waiting for me to come out. I open the door and stare at him with a mixture of disbelief and doubt.

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