Page 4 of Christmas with my Three Best Friends

That’s enough to make me lose my balance mid-swing. I almost fall over but manage to keep myself upright as I take a deep breath and switch to my right leg, instead, praying to all the martial arts gods that Jax didn’t notice. But he did. There’s a wicked smile creeping across his handsome, stubbly face.

“Nothing special,” I reply. “Just rest and relaxation. Sunday was a bit of a mess. I was getting a lot of phone calls, so I think I got confused at some point…”

“Is this your way of trying to tell me you didn’t mean to send that list over?” he chuckles.

I freeze, both feet on the tatami as I stare at him. Heat rises to my face yet again. Where’s a natural disaster when you desperately need one, I keep asking myself? “Yeah, about that...” I try to speak, but he laughs and slaps the punching bag.

“Keep kicking, Shay.”

I keep kicking, hoping that’ll be the last we ever mention my naughty list. A minute goes by in the most awkward silence while I intensify my kicks from one leg to the other. Jax watches every movement, correcting me here and there with verbal instructions.

“You’ve come a long way in the past six months, you know,” he finally says. “Who knew getting your heart broken would bring out the athlete in you, huh?”

“I guess Vincent was the last necessary boot up my ass.”

“Have you heard from him lately?”

I shake my head. “Not since he ghosted me mid-engagement six months ago,” I reply. “Screw him, Jax, he’s not even worth thinking about it.”

“Yeah, absolutely. I’m just stunned that anybody would do something like that,” he says. “Like, the man chased you for months on end. He even proposed with a ring and everything. Granted, it was the cheapest ring I saw on Amazon, mind you, but still… How does a guy just disappear the way he did?”

“Cassandra says that’s what toxic, malevolent narcissists do,” I tell him. “They love bomb you, they make you doubt your own reality and self-worth, they make you work for every ounce of affection they give you, and they feed on your energy, on your love and your kindness until they wear you out or until they find someone else they deem more useful or interesting than you. And then, they drop off the face of the earth because they lack the basic decency and emotional maturity to end things like proper men.’ I paused my tirade. “Apparently, they’re a whole breed…”

“I’m guessing the absence of closure is meant to make you question yourself, to hurt you on a deep level,” Jax says. “It’s evil, Shay. It’s downright evil, and I’m glad he’s out of your life. He did you a favor.”

“He did me a favor, yeah. It just took a while for me to realize that,” I say, remembering all the hours of therapy, of crying myself to sleep, of forgiving myself for having fallen for Vincent’s lies and gaslighting, of working my ass off at the gym to take care of my body and my injured heart, to pump my self-worth back to its regular levels. “I still can’t believe I let him manipulate me the way he did. I actually thought he was the one. Idiot me.”

“You weren’t an idiot,” Jax replies. “He was the idiot for not realizing what he had and treating you the right way. You’re a strong woman, and I like that the most about you.”

I find myself standing still yet again, staring at him as I process his entire statement. “Do you really mean it?”

“Of course. You’re as tough as they come, Shay. That sucker isn’t even worthy to breathe the same air as you.”

“Thanks Jax. That’s really kind of you to say.”

Jax chuckles dryly and comes over. “Kill ’em with kindness is my motto,” he quips, quickly approaching me. All of a sudden, I’m breathless and tense, my muscles tightening with each step he takes in my direction. “I was just being nice because we’re about to practice some tackles, babe, and I plan on winning every time.”

“Bring it on, big boy,” I jokingly tease him, hoping it’ll keep the play fighting neutral.

One more thing I was dead wrong about, because as soon as Jax gets close enough, I’m briefly mesmerized by his bare, tattooed chest and rock-hard abs, his muscular shoulders and strong arms, beads of sweat glistening down his torso—as soon as I look up, I fail to see his left leg swinging low. I’m knocked over, but I don’t go down easy.

I shriek like a rabid monkey, completely graceless in my attempt to wrap my arms around his waist and take him with me. It becomes a tangled, sweaty mess as I manage to keep myself up for another second or two before his leg swings out again.

“Son of a—” I end up falling, but Jax lands on top of me.

A second becomes a minute as I’m pressed under his full body weight. He’s smiling, his muscles crushing me against the tatami floor. I’d move, I’d squirm, I’d do something to save whatever is left of my tattered honor, but my brain has abandoned me once again. All I can do is look into his baby-blue eyes and wonder if I see desire twinkling furiously in his dilated pupils—dark pools threatening to swallow me whole. His scent invades my nostrils. His heart thuds against mine. And his cock feels hard as it’s nestled against my stomach, twitching as we hold each other’s gaze. A minute becomes an eternity…

“I never knew you had those ideas in your head,” Jax finally says, his voice low and gruff, making my ears tingle nervously while his hands move up and down my sides.

His touch is electric, sending jolts through my whole body as he explores it with his palms and fingers, memorizing every inch of fabric and bare skin he comes across. His thigh slides between mine, and I feel my core tightening with excitement as he lowers his head, ever so slightly, his lips so close to mine I’m about to beg for his kiss.

I lay still, though, panting and struggling to keep my scattered mind together. “Those weren’t for you to read,” I tell him.

“We figured that much,” Jax replies, his gaze lowering to focus on my slightly parted lips. “Even so, I’m genuinely surprised. I never knew your mind worked in such dirty ways, Shailene.”

Jax usually calls me by my full name when I’m in trouble, when I’m skipping a move or a whole practice session. He’s a strict man and a dedicated coach, yet this time… the tone of his voice feels different. The way my full name rolls off his tongue has my pussy wet and clenched as he presses his muscular thigh against it.

“I didn’t think…” There should be a second part to this sentence, but I can’t find it.

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