Page 34 of Christmas with my Three Best Friends

I roll my eyes. “You go do you, Vincent. I couldn’t care less.”

“You see, I’m not sure I believe you,” he replies, a smile teasing the corner of his mouth.

“Again, I’m not interested in your opinions or your beliefs. I will say this for the last time, Vincent. Mind your business, and I will mind mine.”

Finally, he understands this isn’t a good moment for him to keep pushing my buttons. His return alone is enough to make my skin crawl. The last thing I want to do is revisit a most painful breakup simply because he wants to feel better about himself. Screw that. He didn’t give a crap about how he made me feel when he vanished like a coward. Why should I care about how he feels now?

“I’ll see you around, Shay. And you’ll see for yourself. I’ve changed,” he says, then politely backs away and goes into the locker room.

Only when he’s out of sight can I breathe again. I look over to the reception desk and find Marius watching me intently while Alice taps away on her work computer. I smile at Marius, hoping he’s able to read it the way it’s intended. He mirrors my expression and nods slowly. There are times when he and I can understand each other in the absence of words.

I’m not sure how this whole thing affects me. I’m with three wonderful men, and I’ve come a long way from the past version of myself. Yet I worry that the past version of myself isn’t dead but simply lurking in the shadows of my mind. I worry she was merely waiting for Vincent to return. He did seem a tad different. Less domineering than he used to be. Perhaps even meek, at least where our dynamic was concerned. I don’t know what to make of it.

Marius walks closer to me, coffee cup in hand as he takes a seat beside me on the sofa. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, I promise.”

“It couldn’t have been easy seeing him again.”

I shrug and focus on my tepid coffee. It’s still good. “I don’t know what to say,” I tell Marius. “But I do know he’s part of a closed chapter. I don’t make a habit of revisiting my past, particularly parts of it I associate with pain and uncertainty.”

“He seemed pretty… meek. What do you think he’s after?” Marius asks.

“I don’t know, and I don’t really care.”

“Maybe he wants you back.”

I can’t help but laugh, yet I can tell it’s not my usual laughter. It’s more of a bitter cackle. “He can want me back. It doesn’t mean I want him back.”

“You don’t?”

“How can you even ask me that?” I reply, giving him a hard look. “Marius, I’m with you. I’m with you, with Jax, and with Richard. Whatever this… this thing is between us, I’m infinitely happier and healthier with you three than I will ever be if I were to be stupid enough to get back with Vincent. He made his choice a long time ago, and I’ve accepted everything that happened.”

Marius nods and stares at his coffee for a while. “I wouldn’t blame you for considering it,” he says. “I do know what it’s like to be tempted to go back to something familiar, even if it hurt you.”

“Marius, I don’t ever want to go back there. I’ve grown more in the past six months than in the past five years,” I remind him. “There is absolutely nothing waiting for me beside Vincent. Nothing except more confusion, gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and all the lies I can eat.” I pause and shift in my seat so I have a better look at him. “Do you think I wanna go back to him?”

He shakes his head. “No, but like I said, I would understand the impulse.”

“You shouldn’t,” I shoot back. “None of you should.”

“Do you want me to transfer him to another personal trainer? Lyle could easily fit him into his schedule,” Marius sighs.

“You’re free to do whatever you want, Marius. He’s your client. I can’t have a say in that.”

“I could drop him, too. Tell him something came up.”

“We need clients. Even him. I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to drop him, but if you want to hand him over to Lyle, again, that should be your choice, your preference, not mine,” I say. “We agreed from the very beginning that we would do our best not to mix our personal and professional lives, yet this is precisely what we’re doing here.”

He thinks about it for a moment, briefly scratching his trimmed beard. My fingers tingle with a muted desire to run through those black curls of his. I’ve grown accustomed to touching him, to feeling him close to my body and my heart. Maybe that’s why this conversation is so irritating. I’d rather focus on what I have with Marius, Jax, and Richard than linger over someone who is no longer a part of my life. I actually feel like Marius is probing my resolve, wondering how long before I cut everything off and go back to Vincent.

“You’re right,” Marius finally says. “I may not like it much, but you’re right. Vincent’s money is still money, and we need as much of it as we can possibly get.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page here.”

Neither of us likes it, but Richard’s impulsive business nature is still a risk to us, despite his reassurances. I know how his mind works, and despite his honorable intentions, he may still decide to flip the switch. We need more income for the gym, more clients, and better PR in order to put Richard’s mind at ease—at least until the gym is able to stand on its own. It’s only a matter of time.

And a matter of putting up with people I would’ve otherwise turned away.

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