Page 52 of Christmas with my Three Best Friends

I’ve been feeling rather queasy the past week or so. It must be the stress of the entire situation. I barely talk to the guys, even though we see each other at the gym every day. I make sure to always be busy with a client or locked inside my office. I wear my headphones during my treadmill exercises, and any conversation with Marius, Jax, or Richard are the bare minimum. Hell, I wouldn’t even know where to start if I wanted to talk to them about us.

We haven’t been together in a while. I’ve rarely replied to their texts. They can feel me slipping away, and I have yet to make a decision about our relationship or our business. I know Richard saw the other space he told me about, though he hasn’t mentioned more about it since. Maybe he’s already leased it, or maybe he changed his mind. To my surprise, he’s been spending more time here than anywhere else.

The gym is definitely starting to move upward now that the new training programs have been implemented. There is a significant uptick in memberships, and we’re doing even better on the supplement side of things. It’s supposed to be looking up for us, so why do I still feel so down and gloomy all the time?

The mere smell of cooked food makes me want to hurl. I can barely stomach a protein bar in the morning. Even coffee tastes… haggard. I’m guessing it’s the emotional toll finally settling in. Everything has been gradually unraveling between us since Chappaqua, anyway, so I’m guessing we’re nearing an unfavorable conclusion. There was only one way this was going to end, despite the deepening and endless ache in my heart. I miss them. I miss the four of us together, tangled in the bed sheets, laughing and fucking each other’s brains out. I miss losing myself in their arms and getting pampered with their sweet, loving kisses.

Reality doesn’t allow for such good moments to last, though.

And Alice being late again isn’t doing much for my frayed nerves, either. I’m behind the reception desk once more, handing out keys and scanning passes after one of our regulars called to let me know the gym wasn’t open yet. That happened at 7:30 in the morning. It’s 8:25 now, and Alice has yet to arrive. I’m done. Shaking my head slowly, I check my watch again. As if summoned, she finally walks through the doors in an apparent rush, the same annoying grin slitting her face.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she says.

“Late doesn’t even begin to cover it,” I reply bluntly.

“I said I was sorry,” she mumbles, unable to look me in the eyes.

“Alice, being sorry isn’t enough. You keep doing this, and I can no longer tolerate this kind of behavior.”

“Oh, come on, it’s not like nobody was here!”

“No one was here. Yet again, one of our regular clients had to call to ask me to come in and open the gym.”

Alice looks around in a panic, her eyes wide and her lips slightly parted. It’s finally dawning on her. “What about Rick? He’s been coming in earlier lately.”

“He showed up ten minutes after I opened.”

“Did you tell him?”

She gives me a troubled glance, and I smell blood in the water. She’s afraid. She knows this is the last straw. But before I can fire her, a couple clients walk in. One of them is new here, so she decides to take him through the on-boarding process. The other one is Vincent.

“Good morning,” he says, approaching the reception desk.

I offer him a flat smile, hoping he won’t engage in any kind of small talk. He’s still trying to get closer to me, and while I’ve been nothing but polite and affable, I can’t let him think I’d be willing to welcome him back in my life.

“Good morning,” I reply.

My voice vanishes as I notice the large bouquet of red roses and the box of my favorite Belgian chocolates in his hands. He holds them up as an offering.

“For you, Shay.”

“What is this?” I manage, trying to find my words.

I feel like a deer caught in the headlights. My blood runs hot and cold at the same time as I stare at him, then at the flowers and the chocolates, then at a slightly befuddled Alice, who’s watching us while waiting for the new guy to fill out a questionnaire before he gets his gym pass.

This morning was already wrong on so many levels. I didn’t expect it to accelerate downward. My gaze darts back to the flowers. Red roses. My favorites. Vincent knows they’re my favorite.

“I needed to say something,” he replies, his eyes smiling softly as he looks deep into mine.

For a moment, I’m almost fooled into seeing the old Vincent, or, better said, the image I had of him—the good man, the romantic, the charming man who walked into my life and changed everything, making me believe I was his choice. Until he made me feel like an option, of course.

“And I had to bring two of your favorite things in order to make a lasting impact,” Vincent adds. “Shay… I still love you.”

“Oh, no,” I mumble, suddenly realizing where this is going.

“Please, just hear me out. You don’t have to say anything, but I have to… Listen, I’ve missed you terribly. I was an idiot, I mistreated you, I lashed out at you instead of cherishing you, instead of treating you the way you deserved to be treated. The way you deserve to be treated.”

“Holy shit,” I hear Alice muttering from behind the desk. Great. We have an audience.

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