Page 54 of Obsession Under the Southern Stars

“Yeah. I like the throws over the sofa and chairs, and the paintings of the sea and the landscapes, and the green and blue decor, and this big kitchen…”

He looks around. “It’d be a nice place to bring up a family.”

I trail my spoon through my soup for a moment, then have a bite of the sandwich. “Do you want kids?”

“Eventually,” he says. “Do you?”

I chew, not looking at him. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Why?”

“Because people always assume you should think the way they do, and they try to change your mind.”

“So you don’t want kids?”

I pick a piece of ham from the sandwich and eat it. I shouldn’t have brought the subject up, but it occurs to me then that this would be the best way to convince Joel that we’re not suited. If I want him off my back for good, this is probably the best way.

I feel a flicker of doubt. Is that what I want? To lose his affection and his attention?You can’t have it both ways, Zoe.I don’t want to be a prick tease and lead him on, only to let him down at the last moment. It would be better to be upfront now.

“No,” I say. “I don’t.”

He doesn’t look shocked or disappointed. He just eats his sandwich, meeting my gaze as I risk a look up at him.

“Why?” he asks eventually.

“I told you, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” He doesn’t argue. He has a mouthful of water from his bottle, then stirs his soup with his spoon. “Is that why you won’t go on a date with me?”

“Partly.”

“What’s the other part?”

I sigh. “Joel…”

“Come on, spit it out. I’d much rather you be open about it.”

This guy saved my life. He gave me his regulator without a second thought, when he wasn’t even sure that his octopus wasworking. He put my life before his own. I owe him big time, and this is the least I can do.

I pick out another piece of ham with its stringy cheese and pop it in my mouth. Then I meet his gaze again. His blue eyes are gentle and curious. He leans on the breakfast bar, as if realizing I’m going to reveal something at last.

“I like you,” I say.

His gaze drops to my mouth for a moment, then returns to my eyes. “Okay…”

“A lot,” I continue softly. “Enough so that I know a fling with you is out of the question, because I have a feeling it would turn into something more serious, and there’s no point. I’m not saying that when you date someone you need to assume it’ll lead to forever, but I don’t want marriage or children, and I don’t want to start something with you that I know won’t go anywhere, because I don’t want to hurt you.”

“So you’re doing me a favor by not dating me?”

I glare at him. “Don’t mock me.”

His lips curve up. He has another bite of his sandwich and crunches it, still watching me. I look down at my soup. It’s really tasty, but I’ve eaten enough and don’t want to make myself sick. I put the spoon down and push the bowl away.

“Why don’t you want marriage and kids?” he asks.

“It’s my choice, that’s all. Not every woman wants to settle down and have the whole husband and two-point-four children thing. Some of us love our careers and want to dedicate our lives to them.”

He gestures at the uneaten piece of my sandwich. I nod, and he picks it up and starts eating it. “There’s no reason you can’t have both. A career and a family. Lots of women do.”

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