Page 94 of Obsession Under the Southern Stars

I laugh. “Thanks. It was touch and go there for a while.”

“Want a beer?”

“Yeah, go on then.” I follow him out to the kitchen. He retrieves two beers from the fridge, cracks them open, and offers me one.

“How’s Zoe?” he asks, leaning against the breakfast bar.

I draw up a stool. “She’s okay. It’s been a rollercoaster week for her.” I tell him about her regulator malfunctioning, and then explain a little about our adventure on the boat.

“She’s really been through it,” he says. “And so have you.”

“Yeah, there have been a few scares, I have to admit.”

“Are you seeing her again?” he asks.

“I’m working on it.” I hesitate. We’re guys, so we don’t tend to talk much about deep and meaningful things, and Fraser especially isn’t particularly forthcoming about his emotions or his love life. But equally, Elora’s experience brought us all closer together. I know he’d never reveal anything I told him. So I say, “In the midst of the storm, she confided in me that she’s unable to have kids.”

His eyebrows rise a fraction. “Oh?”

“She got pregnant when she was young, had a uterine rupture, and had to have a hysterectomy.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah. There’s other stuff surrounding it that I haven’t quite figured out yet. But obviously she can’t have kids, and she’s not keen on adopting either.”

His calm gaze assesses me. “Do you want kids?”

“I was thinking about it earlier today. I don’t think I’m that bothered if I don’t have them.”

I suppose I was interested in his reaction, to see whether he would admonish me that it was a ridiculous conclusion, and that I’d regret it eventually. But he just says, “Yeah, I get that.”

“You don’t think I’m being crazy if I give up the chance of having a family?”

“I think society declares that’s the only path to happiness, and insinuates there’s something wrong with you if you don’t want to walk that road. There are a hundred reasons why a couple choose not to have children, and they’re all valid.” He cocks his head at me. “Are you thinking about what Dad would say?”

I study my beer bottle. I can hear Dad now, quoting Psalm 127:3: “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” He believes that after God, family—and especially children—are the most important thing in the world, the reason for existence, if you will. It’s why he dedicated his life to helping young people. So he would never understand a man making the choice to give up a chance to have a family. He would laugh if I said it was because I loved Zoe more than I loved the idea of having children. He would tell me to pull on my big girl pants, grow up, and go out and find a wife who could give me the five kids I deserve.

Yeah, sometimes he’s incredibly Old Testament.

“Fuck him,” Fraser says.

My eyebrows rise. It’s very unusual for my brother to say anything against our father. I rarely do either, for that matter. Respect for our parents was drilled into us at an early age, and rebellion against authority has never been something either of us is comfortable with.

“Wow,” I say.

“You’re twenty-eight,” Fraser states. “And I’m thirty. Even Elora’s twenty-four now. Don’t you think it’s time we all started making our choices about what we want to do with our lives?” His voice holds an uncharacteristic touch of bitterness.

“Are you talking about Elora and Linc?”

“Partly. If they want to have a fling while they’re away, why shouldn’t they? She’s old enough now to make that decision, and to understand that he’s flying out on Monday. She’s not stupid; I don’t think she’s expecting to drive off into the sunset with him.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”

He gives me a wry look. “Let’s just say my perspective has changed recently.”

“Oh yes…” I turn around and gesture at the jacket hanging over the back of my stool. “While the cat’s been away… what has the mouse been up to?”

“Discovering a very tasty piece of Camembert,” he says.

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