Page 83 of Obsession Under the Southern Stars

I nod and lift my lips to his, and we lie there for a while, exchanging long, lingering kisses.

“That was so good,” he murmurs when we eventually move back.

“Yeah.”

He strokes down my back to my hip, then says, “Sorry,” as he finally withdraws.

Warmth spreads over my thighs, and I sigh. “We’ll have to wipe down the mattress before we leave tomorrow.”

He smiles, but his expression is sad as he pulls me into his arms. “I’m so sorry about what happened to you.”

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry I talked about having children.”

“And I’m sorry to have to tell you what happened. I wish it could be otherwise.”

He runs a finger down my nose. “I told you that I just want to be with you.”

“I thought you were just saying that,” I whisper. “That you assumed you’d be able to change my mind eventually.”

“No. You don’t have to excavate my words to find out what lies beneath them, Zo. I tend to say what I mean.”

My brow furrows. “But you deserve to be with someone who can have a family.”

He runs a strand of my hair through his fingers. “There are other options. Have you thought about adoption or surrogacy?”

My lips part, but no words come out for a moment. Eventually, I swallow hard, then say, “I don’t think I could.”

He tucks the strand behind my ear. “That’s okay.”

“It’s really hard. I know you’re going to say it doesn’t matter whether you have children or not, but I can’t believe that if we were still together five or ten years down the line, it wouldn’t become a problem. Unless I meet a guy who says unprompted that he doesn’t want a family, it’s always going to be an issue.”

He sighs. “Maybe you’re overthinking it. Perhaps we should start at the beginning, and just concentrate on the two of us. We can worry about everything else later.”

I give him a little smile, but he doesn’t understand. Of course he’s right in many ways; we haven’t even gone on a proper date yet. We really shouldn’t be talking about marriage and forever and children. I’ve known him a long time and I think we’re kind of compatible, but there’s no way of knowing how we’ll feel about each other a week, a month, or a year down the line.

But relationships are hard. Love is hard. I know Joel has the potential to break my heart, that’s why I was reluctant to sleep with him. It doesn’t make sense to start something that in all likeliness is going to lead to heartbreak and misery.

I close my eyes. Way to go, Zoe. Talk about glass half empty.

The mattress shifts as Joel moves, and then I feel his lips press against my brow. He kisses my forehead, my nose, my cheeks, and down to my mouth, where he gives me a long, lingering kiss.

“We should get some sleep,” he says. “The storm’s abating a little.”

I hadn’t noticed; the rain is still lashing against the windows, and the cabin is creaking and groaning. But maybe the roof is rattling a bit less, and the rolls of thunder are slightly further apart.

We settle down, wrapped around each other, and soon his breathing is deep and even.

My emotions continue to rage, though, tearing through me, causing havoc and leaving my sanity in tatters. I shouldn’t have slept with him. I should have kept my distance, because that’s the only way to make sure my heart remains intact.

Too late, Zoe. Too late.

Chapter Nineteen

Joel

When I wake again, the cabin is filled with light.

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