Page 23 of Sacrifice

He rose to his feet, face thunderstruck. “What?” he said sharply. “Is this some sort of joke?”

“No, Papa.” I kept my chin boldly lifted. “It is my choice. And you just said yourself—you will not stop me. Nor will anyone else.”

“Rosamund, wait. Think about what you’re saying. The Tetrad is only three days away.” He cut his eyes at the clock. “Well, closer to two now. You cannot leave. We need you!”

“You just told me that I can leave if I choose to do so. Now you’re saying I can’t?”

“I didn’t mean… I just meant…” He shook his head and trailed off, seemingly too confused to form a coherent train of thought, let alone a coherent sentence. “What… what has happened to you tonight, darling? What has prompted this sudden loss of faith? Is it nerves?”

“No, it’s notnerves.” My eyes narrowed, and I folded my arms. “I went to the forbidden cave, Papa.”

His face blanched. “No. You didn’t.”

“Yes, I did. I guessed the code to the secret door, and I saw what you’re hiding in there,” I said. “There’s no evil Darkness lurking within. Only a major drug operation that you’re clearly using to make money for the Covenant.”

I thought Papa would be furious at my admission. Instead, he sagged in the chair, one shaky hand scraping through his hair. “Oh, no,” he muttered. “No, no, no. Rosamund, please. You must understand—”

I cut him off, voice turning shrill. “I understand perfectly, Papa. I’ve heard things in the past from all the men who go to college, you know. They say the drug trade in the outside world is a terrible thing. That outsiders get sick and die all the time because of it,” I said. “You’re keeping our little paradise up here running off the backs of outsiders. Outsiders who can suffer and die because ofyou.”

Panic was flashing in his eyes now. “Rosamund, just listen—”

“Stop interrupting me!” I snapped. “I’m not done yet!”

Papa let out a glum sigh, shoulders deflating. “Fine,” he muttered wearily. “Finish.”

I narrowed my eyes and continued my furious diatribe. “It’s bad enough that you’re basically a drug dealer. But what’s far worse is that you know our religion is a false one. The Darkness isn’t real. It’s just something you and the other elders use to control the rest of us while you—”

It was Papa’s turn to cut me off. “Stop!” he shouted, jumping to his feet. “The Darknessisreal!”

“No, it’s not, Papa. Neither is the Entity.” I gritted my teeth. “Did you forget that I went in the cave? I saw everything!”

He clenched his jaw and shakily raised a palm. “You are right in some respects. Yes, there are things we hide in the cave for the benefit of everyone here. I will not deny that. But I will not allow you to make these blasphemous claims, Rosamund.”

“There is no blasphemy in what I say. Only truth.” Tears suddenly sprang to my eyes, and I choked out my next words. “You were going to let medie, Papa. You were going to kill your own daughter in the name of a false god!”

“No. Darling,no.” Papa drew closer to me and reached out in an attempt to hug me. I cowered away from him, and he dropped his hands, head shaking. “Please, Rosamund. Please believe me. The Entity is real. His teachings are real. The work we do here in Alderwood isreal.”

“I don’t believe that anymore.”

“You must! We are all true believers here!” he said. “We only hide certain things for the benefit of everyone, as I already stated. Not because we are liars.”

“That’s not true. Youarea liar.” I shook my head as more tears welled in my eyes. “I can’t believe you were going to let me die.”

“Do you think Iwantedthat?” Papa said, fury suddenly flaring in his eyes. His hands balled into fists at his sides. “Do you think I washappywhen Celeste died giving birth to you? Do you think I was happy when you were instantly marked as the fourth celestial virgin? You think I was happy with the knowledge that my only child wouldn’t even live to thirty before the Tetrad arrived?”

“Yes, Papa,” I murmured. “You were happy, and you were proud.”

He shook his head, jaw twitching. “No. The pride only came later, when I realized how blessed I was to have such an important daughter. But my first feelings were rage and horror,” he said in a low voice. “I hated the Entity in that moment, and I had to pray very hard, for years, to make those impious feelings go away. I wanted my wife back, and I wanted my daughter to have a long, happy life. I did not want her to be sacrificed.”

I sniffed and wiped my puffy, leaking eyes. “Yet you were still going to allow it.”

My father was crying now too. “Rosamund, please,” he said, voice thick with emotion. He briefly shuttered his eyes. Then he drew in a deep breath and continued. “The sacrifices areimportant. You know this. They are the most important part of our work because of what the lifeblood of an innocent does for our land. It ismagic. The Covenant doctrines have always said this, and we must abide by them, even if we are personally unhappy with the path that certain lives must take as a result. It is all for the greater good.”

I slowly shook my head as his words sank in. “Even if you are a true believer, Papa, I cannot believe you would do this to me. I cannot believe you would allow your own daughter to be sacrificed.”

“Rosamund… you were happy to do it. All these years, you looked forward to it. Just like the other virgins.”

“Yes, I did, because I was completely and utterly brainwashed. But now I see clearly.” My words were ironic, given how my eyes were completely blurred with tears right now. “You never really loved me. Not if you were willing to let me die.”

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