Page 73 of Deadly Oath

As of right now, the mafia that was after me seems to have kept their distance. The noises I hear at night now are softer, more distant, definitely the rustling of leaves instead of footsteps outside. And Kian is right that it will be good to get away. I don’t know what he told Caldwell to get him to not freak out—about the marriage or usleaving town for a honeymoon—but I haven’t heard anything about it. And there’s another two weeks until he’s scheduled to visit again. We’ll be back in plenty of time before that.

Two days until we’re supposed to leave for our honeymoon—although I still don’t know where. Kian told me to pack for chillier weather than this, and I have visions of a cabin in the snow, somewhere remote, in Colorado or upstate New York or Canada. A cozy fireplace and a rug in front of it, soft enough for us to?—

To what?I still don’t know what to call what we do together in bed. It’s not lovemaking, that’s for sure.Sexsounds clinical.Fuckingis the only way to describe it, and I can’t help wanting something a little more romantic, still. But in time, I imagine, it will soften. We’ll try something different. Gentler. And the things he does to me are all things that turn me on. Whatever I might wonder about outside of bed, the moment Kian touches me, I’m aching for him.

One minute left on my timer. To see where all that sex—all of thatfucking—might have led us. Or, at least, the first time, before I got my birth control.

I stare down at the plastic test on the counter, my heart thudding in my chest. Kian had been so sure that one time wouldn’t be enough. That I wasn’t at the right time of the month. But unless the pills didn’t work?—

I bite my lip, chewing at it, still staring at the test as if I can make the result pop up sooner. I passed off the nausea as stress from the kidnapping, the wedding, all of it. When my period was late, right before the wedding, I was actually glad. No woman wants to be bleeding on a day when she’s wearing a white dress—or on her period on her wedding night, not if she’s actually excited to be going to bed with the man she’s marrying. And afterward, I was so distracted with Kian moving in, and all the changes—I didn’t think about the fact that it was getting later and later.

Until I did, yesterday.

I grabbed a test while I was out grocery shopping with Marie, somehow managing to scan and hide it while she was distracted bythe magazine rack. And now, as I wait for the result, I don’t know how to feel.

It’s fast.Toofast, just like everything else in my relationship with Kian has been. And yet—all of that has turned out better than I could have imagined.

I always knew marriage and children were in my future, in a theoretical sort of way. A marriage would have been arranged for me, sooner rather than later, and children would have been expected as soon as possible. All of that would have happened very differently than it’s happening now—and even though all of this isn’texactlyon my terms, it’s much more so than it would have been before. For once, I feel as if I’ve had some hand in all of it. There were outside forces involved in my decision to marry Kian, but the decision to sleep with him was all mine. And that, after all, was what got me here, to this moment.

The timer goes off, just as the result pops up in the little window. I bought the type that gives a worded answer, instead of lines, wanting there to be as little doubt as possible. And the result is plain as day, a single word.

Pregnant.

A flood of emotions hit me all at once, as I stare at it. Anxiety at how Kian will react, if this is too soon, if this is a mistake. If I shouldn’t be even more bound to him than I already am, so quickly into our marriage, into ourrelationship.But on the heels of that anxiety, is something else, too.

Excitement. Happiness, even. It wasn’t all that long ago that I couldn’t see a future for myself, and suddenly one is opening up, faster than ever. A husband that I wanted. A child that we made together. Afamily, here in this place that I hated when I was first dropped here, where I thought I could never fit in, but where I’ve found a friend and love and hope all the same. I don’t know how Kian will feel about this, but I feel a jittery thread of nervous anticipation, and I press my hand to my still-flat stomach, already finding myself thinking ahead.

A different house, because we’ll need a nursery. For our little girl—I’m already hoping we have a daughter. A place that Kian and I can pick out together, with a backyard, maybe. I think of how excited Marie will be when I tell her, and a smile spreads across my face, my heart beating fast for a different reason altogether.

Should I tell him tonight?I hesitate, thinking of the honeymoon that we’re about to go on. If Kianisupset about how quickly all this is happening, I don’t want it to spoil the trip. And maybe waiting until afterward will be better. We’ll be able to spend that time away, just the two of us, getting to know each other more. Getting closer. The time, I think, to give Kian news like this would beaftera romantic getaway like that.

We’ll come home, and then I’ll tell him, on our first night back,I decide. There’s no rush, and it will give me time to settle into how I feel about it, too. Then, when I tell Kian, I can do it confidently, with nothing but excitement. Excitement that, I hope, he’ll share with me.

I have no idea what I’ll do if he doesn’t.

—

The morningof our flight out to our honeymoon, I’m busy packing while Kian ties up some last-minute things at the station. I went shopping with Marie yesterday, picking up a handful of items that I haven’t needed here, where the weather is much milder than what Kian is telling me to prepare for. What he didn’t tell me was what occasions I would need to dress for—if my cabin-in-the-woods fantasy is more what I should pack for, or if I need clothes to go out to dinner. So I pack a little of everything, from jeans and my favorite sunflower sweater, to a brown and blue striped sweater dress that I picked up yesterday, a soft black turtleneck sweater, and a couple pairs of nice jeans. I add leggings, sweatshirts, more comfortable long-sleeved shirts, and the last item—a turquoise satin babydoll nightie, with white lace around the edge. I remember how Kian looked at me when he saw the lingerie I chose to go under mywedding dress, and I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees me in this.

Kian arrives just as I’m packing the last of my things, and he smiles when he sees me. “Ready?” he asks, reaching for the leather duffel bag that he packed last night, and I nod. I think of the pregnancy test stowed under the sink, and I wonder if there’s something wrong about keeping this secret from him until we’re back from our honeymoon. But my instinct is to do just that, to wait for the right time to tell him, and I decide to stick with that.

“Let’s go,” I tell him, and we head outside, to where Marie is just pulling up. “Is she giving us a ride?” I ask Kian, looking at him curiously, and he nods.

“I thought it was better than leaving my truck at airport parking. It can get pricey,” he explains. “And she was nice enough to offer.” He raises a hand in greeting, taking my suitcase and going around to put it in the back of the minivan along with his bag.

“Are yousoexcited?” Marie asks as I slide into the passenger’s seat, and I nod, feeling that building sense of anticipation. It feels like ages since I’ve been on vacation, and considering the circumstances under which I came to Rivershade, this feels even more like being let out after a long confinement. No matter how much happiness I’ve found here, and created for myself, this town still wasn’t my choice. And I’m excited about some new scenery.

“I can’t wait for some time alone with Kian,” I tell her, since I can’t say any of the thoughts that ran through my head, and Marie grins mischievously at me.

“I would be, too, if I were you.” She glances at him, shaking her head. “Lucky girl. Not that I’d trade Greg for anything, but—” She wiggles her eyebrows at me, and I can’t help but laugh.

The temptation to tell her my news is almost overwhelming. But before I can give in to it, Kian slides into the backseat, and the moment passes. “Ready?” he asks me again, and I nod.

The trip to the airport seems to fly by. Marie hugs me goodbye when she drops us off, squeezing me tightly, and I laugh.

“I’ll be back in a few days,” I tell her. “It’s just a trip!”

“I know, but I’ll miss you.” She squeezes me again, then lets go, as Kian clears his throat. “I don’t want you to miss your flight.”

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