Page 38 of Deadly Oath

Kian:You don’t need to worry. Just go about your day. I’ll see you around.

I stare downat my phone, uncertainty washing over me. He didn’t say exactly that therewasn’tanyone outside, and my stomach twists with anxious dread.

Sabrina:So therewassomeone? Kian, you can’t leave me hanging like this.

I wait and wait,but he doesn’t text back. I briefly consider calling him, but that won’t make him answer, and the idea of it makes me feel slightly like a crazy person. Especially considering how things changed between us last night.

I know, deep down, that this is how things go for people who didn’t grow up the way I did. Sometimes, a first time isn’t an earth-shattering moment. Sometimes, a guy doesn’t stay the night. Sometimes, it’s all very casual and at-arm’s-length, andI’ll see you aroundis a normal response to get after a hookup.

This is all strange to me, but it’s not Kian’s problem that I don’t know how to navigate it, and I’m pretty sure that’s what he’s thinking right now. It was a hot, passionate, mind-melting encounter, but itwas just sex, and it will stay that way until we both want to see each other again.

Dragging myself out of bed, I head to the kitchen for my usual bland breakfast and coffee. I don’t have plans today other than my book club meeting tonight, and I use the time to get some of my editing work done that I’ve fallen behind on. Kian has been a distraction, and while he’s a welcome one, I’ve let it get in the way of the schedule I had started to build for myself.

By five, Kian still hasn’t texted. I take another shower, noticing the small red mark at the base of my throat that must be from his mouth last night, and throw on jeans and my sunflower-patterned sweater again. Marie is right on the dot to pick me up, and the moment I get into the minivan, she clocks the mark on my neck.

“Had another date?” she asks with a grin, and if I’d had any intention of lying, it’s instantly lost when my face heats. “Okay, that’s a yes.”

I nod, swallowing hard. “Yeah, we went out to the diner for dinner. And the bar. He showed me how to line dance.”

Marie makes an excited sound, bouncing a little in the driver’s seat as she turns towards Cindy’s house. “Yes. I’m so happy for you. Are you going to see him again? And how did you getthat?” She gestures toward my neck, and I feel the color in my face deepen. “Did you two?—”

I manage a nod, my throat too tight with nervous embarrassment to say anything, and Marie lets out a squeal.

“Oh my god, you have to tell meeverything. But wait until we get to book club. The others are going to want to hear about it, too.”

I cringe back in my seat a little, my pulse kicking up a notch in my throat at the idea of being surrounded by all these women that I barely know, eager for details of a sex life that I’ve barely started. This is odd to me—the women that I knew back in Chicago, who were a part of my friend group or orbited it, didn’t want to talk about their experiences with their husbands. There was nothing good or exciting to discuss, no air of eager secret-sharing. Their husbands had been picked for them, with no thought for desire or affection, and theyweren’t happy with the physical side of things. It was something to get past, not whisper about excitedly.

“I don’t think Cindy is going to want to hear about it,” I manage, twisting the hem of my sleeves around my fingers. “She didn’t seem too pleased the last time we all chatted about this.”

“That’s because she’s jealous.” Marie waves a hand. “But that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want to know all the secrets.” She grins. “She’s not immune to gossip just because she wishes it was her.”

I’m not so sure. But it doesn’t matter, because Daphne’s eager eye notices the mark on my neck as soon as we walk in, and instantly, there’s a clamor for details.

I don’t know how much I want to share. But then again, what’s the point in keeping it to myself?This is what normal people do,I remind myself, and I try to tamp down my embarrassment as the questions are fired at me.

“We hooked up—part of the way, after we went out a few nights ago to the diner and the Crow Bar,” I tell them, my fingers clenched tightly around my mug of hot cider. “It was really good,” I admit on an exhale, and Daphne grins eagerly.

“On a scale of how many times he made you come, how goodwasit?” she asks, as Marie leans over and swats her.

“Daphne.”

“What? I want to know. Is he just all looks, or does he have the tongue to back it up?” She wiggles hers, and I catch myself laughing in spite of myself.

“Twice,” I admit. “And twice last night, when we went all the way.”

“All the way,” Cindy cackles. “You sound like you’re in high school, Sabrina. Was it your first time, too?”

I blanch, hearing the bite in her words, and I know everyone notices the way I flinch back. I’d been prepared to say that it was, to tell these women about my first time in a way that I would never have gotten to share in my old life, but Cindy’s acerbic comment makes me wonder if I actually want to at all.

“Sabrina,” Marie says gently, and when I look at her, I realize for the first time since Caldwell dumped me in this town that I do have afriend here. Cindy is looking at me with undisguised jealousy, and Daphne is looking at me with an eager hunger to know more, a look that’s reflected by varying degrees in the eyes of the other women sitting around us. But Marie’s face is soft, open—worried about me. “Wasit your first time?”

Something burns in my throat. I nod, quickly, realizing that I’m fighting back tears. But I donotwant to cry. Not in front of Cindy, who I know would enjoy that. “Yeah,” I manage, my voice a little croaky. “I think I’ve mentioned before that I was pretty sheltered, before I moved here. This is my first time doing—any of this. All of it.” I swallow hard. “It was really good.”

“Are you sure?” Marie asks, her voice still soft, a sisterly note—or maybe motherly—in it. “He didn’t hurt you, or?—”

My face flushes at that.Yes, but I liked it,is not something I can say here. It’s not something I can really imagine saying at all—I can’t even admit to Kian how much I like what he does to me. I can barely admit it to myself.

Cindy is still staring at me from across the circle of couches and chairs with a jealous gleam in her eyes. Daphne clears her throat in a blatant attempt to pull everyone back to the reason we’re actually here.

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