Page 93 of Puck Princess

I walk straight to the bathroom and turn on the shower. The water is going to burn like hell on my already fucked-up fist, but I don’t care.

I strip down to my underwear before looking in the already steaming mirror. Jack looked so much different than he did when I was a kid, and he isn’t the only one. I’m not the same scrawny kid I was back then. I’m different. I’ve changed, too.

But the face looking back at me is painfully familiar. No matter how many years pass, I can’t quite shake that scared little kid who wanted to prove he was tough enough.

Suddenly, Callie appears behind me.

“Hey. I thought I heard you come home. How was your— Oh my God. Owen, what happened?”

She grabs my shoulder, and I let her turn me around so she can cradle my swollen, bloody hand. “Who did you?—”

“It doesn’t matter,” I bark out.

She flinches back, her eyes brimming with fear.

She’s afraid of me.

I’m no different than Jack or any of the other dozen men who filtered in and out of my house growing up. I get pissed and get in fights and yell at the people I’m supposed to protect.

Callie interrupts the thought by moving closer, holding out a hand. “Owen, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Everything!” I nearly scream. “Look at me! I am him!”

“Who?” she asks, her voice shaky.

“My fa—” I can’t even say it. Because he wasn’t one. Then I realize, I’m not just talking about him.

The tremble in her voice sends me sliding down to the floor, my back against the cabinets and my knees close to my chest. I brace my head in my hands, even the fucked-up one, and stare hard at the floor in front of me. I can’t lose control with her. I won’t.

“Every man she let in our home.” My words are as hard as the tile I’m fixated on. “Every man she let touch her. Every man she let get ahold of me. I am never going to escape them, Callie. No matter how far I run. No matter how many people I help. I am never going to get away from them.”

Callie joins me on the floor. Carefully, she places her hands on my knees. I wince at the contact and her attempt to comfort me. I am armored in anger and even her softness isn’t getting underneath.

“That isn’t true, Owen. You aren’t like any of them.”

“But look at me.” I hold up my bloodied fist. “These bruises are because I couldn’t hold my temper. Something you and the coach tell me all the time. And these cuts? This blood? It’s from Jack’s teeth. The three he had left in his decaying skull.”

“Who’s Jack?”

“Summer’s dad. He said he wanted to see Summer, but he doesn’t give a fuck about Summer or Nicky. He cares about money. I agreed to meet him just to put him in his place.”

“And it looks like you did.” She gently touches my fist.

How she can be so soft in a world that is so hard makes me truly believe she is an angel. But it also makes me feel worse.

“I can’t do this, Callie.”

“Do what?”

“Be a dad. I’m going to be just like them.” I shake my head, eyes on the floor. “I can’t do it.”

“Listen to me.” Her softness shifts to something stern as she reaches for my chin, forcing me to look at her. “You are not them. Do you hear me? These are not the cuts and bruises of an abuser. You are a fighter and you fight for people you love. You are a protector and you protectfor love.You are all of the things that a dad and a husband and a brother and a friend are supposed to be. So all those people and all those voices in your head—they’re screaming because they’re losing. Let them go.”

I shake my head, my words coming out like spikes. “It’s not that easy.”

Callie forces herself between my knees so she can sit right against me. “I know it’s not easy. Getting away from the people that abuse and control us ishard. But you’ve always been stronger than them.”

She looks at me, waiting for the words to sink in. Then she cups my face in her hands.

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