Page 150 of Puck Princess

“How do you know that?”

“I just do.” I circle my hand on her lower back. “Do you want to take a shower? That might feel good.”

“I don’t even fit in the shower anymore.” She starts to sob.

“No shower, then. How about a walk? Walks are supposed to induce labor, right?”

There may have been some late night Googling on my part after Callie tossed and turned for hours last night, grumbling about how impossible it is to sleep when she’s this big.

“I can’t even walk anymore. I waddle. I don’t want all the neighbors to see me waddle.”

“You could eat something spicy,” I suggest.

“Heartburn,” she bites out.

“You could dance?”

The glare she slices my way could level whole cities with its sheer intensity.

“Well, what else helps make babies come out?”

All at once, her face shifts. She turns around to face me, an eyebrow arched. It’s a look I haven’t seen on her face in weeks.

“There is one more thing I’ve heard of.” She presses a hand to my chest, dragging it slowly down my stomach.

“I’m all ears.”

“Sex,” she breathes, biting her lower lip.

The woman almost tore my head off for suggesting we go for a walk, but she wants to have sex?

“What?”

“Sex,” she repeats. “Sex can help.”

“No, no, no. I am not about to risk injuring my baby with—” I point down at my crotch, which, even with the words coming out of my mouth, is growing uncomfortably tight.

It’s been a hot minute since Callie has been interested.

“It’s something to do with semen.” She shrugs. “All I know is you need to finish inside of me?—”

Fuck me.

“Callie, no.”

“You just don’t want to have sex with me because I look like a hot air balloon,” she shrieks

Fuck.

I yank the conversation wheel the opposite direction, but it’s too late. The car is on fire. The road is on fire. Every way lies danger and there is no way out.

“I just told you you’re cute. I just told you?—”

“Cute, but not sexy. You don’t want to touch me.”

“I don’t want to break anything.”

“I want you to break everything! My water. The dam. Just make her come out.”