Page 65 of Knot a Good Idea

O,the substance Skylar’s pack is assigned to work cases on.

I can’t watch the news anymore. If there’s a mention of the drug, I flinch.

Has anyone overdosed because of a substance I helped make, even if I didn’t contribute to its production willingly?

Has someone died because ofmyblood?

“April. Hey.” Skylar’s voice snaps me out of the panic that squeezes my chest. “Earth to April.”

“Do you ever wonder if our stuff is still out there?” I whisper, and Skylar pauses.

“You mean…the batches with our blood in it?” My friend pales slightly, but I continue to push forward.

I’ve only voiced this to my therapist once, but I decide to open up to my friend.

Baby steps.

“I think about it all the time, Skye,” I whisper. I grip the edge of the counter, my knuckles turning white. “What if I’m the reason people are overdosing?—”

“Stop,” Skylar interrupts. “That’s irrational. You can’t control what other people do.”

“But—”

“And,” she continues, “I voiced the same concern to Vincent, so he did more research. Our batches haven’t turned up in months.”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. My heart stops pounding so fast, and my shoulders release their tension. “Did you really?”

“Yes.” Skylar raises a brow. “You’ve been worrying about this for a long time, haven’t you?”

I nod, embarrassed that I worried for nothing.

“It’s beenmonths, April, I swear. TheOthat was made from our…blood…is gone. Oh! They also found a lab they destroyed, too, with some of our samples.”

I look at my friend incredulously. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I wasn’t sure if I could talk about it with you,” she admits. “I didn’t want to set you off.”

I sigh and fiddle with a napkin, letting out awhooshof air.

“You should have told me,” Skylar says quietly. “I could have put your fears to rest months ago.”

I grimace. “Yeah, I guess we should have communicated.”

“You’re the one that always told me every problem can be solved with communication.”

“Yeah, well, that was…before,” I admit. “I used to have answers. I used to know what I was doing.”

Skylar makes a face. “You’re still you, April. Even after all the fucked-up shit we’ve been through, it doesn’t mean we lost who we are. I think that’s something you need to realize.”

I laugh. “That therapy is paying off, huh?”

She shrugs. “We’ll see in time. I don’t know if perspective is worth two hundred dollars an hour.”

“Nah. I would say it's priceless.”

She grins. “So, talk to me next time,asshole.” She shoves my shoulder. “Or at least try to. You’re not alone, you know that, right?”

“I know. Or at least, I’m starting to learn that again.”

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