Page 152 of A Temporary Forever

On the way to Paris, a place that stopped being my home a long time ago.

The departures board flickers in front of me. If I don’t stand up right now, I’llmiss my flight.

The intercom crackles overhead, announcing flights and gate changes in a monotonous voice. It drills into my exhausted mind.

I close my eyes for a moment, but they burn just the same. From the lack of sleep and the sheer fatigue of my sleepless night. From the stupid tears.

But that burning is nothing compared to the gnawing ache in my chest. I open my eyes and finally stand. The red numbers on the digital clock in front of me flick, ticking another minute closer to my departure.

I have to make things easier for Caleb. I can’t be the reason for him to face an impossible choice between me and Mia. Especially now, when she, and her mother, need all the help they can get.

That’s why he sent me home last night. As much as it hurts, it was the right thing to do.

My hand goes to my wrist, and I sigh. I can’t believe that, in the bleakest moment of my life, I lost the watch on top of everything.

When I arrived home, I flipped through the pictures on my phone to forward them to Dominic. Every snatched moment, every memory a reminder of my unexpected little family, brought a smile to my face, and tears to my eyes.

Caleb and Mia deserve as much time together aspossible. And his company as well, especially in the light of Quinn’s arrest.

I wish I could be there for him through this period of his life, but there is no way I can perform any better today than I did yesterday.

The ICE office brought out all my illogical anxieties. It reminded me of that dreadful night at the police station in the seventh arrondissement when my mom died.

When, instead of condolences, I was hammered with questions and accusations. Or maybe it was just my perception, but it doesn’t help me feel any better about my current situation.

I’d just get deported today, so I might as well save myself from further embarrassment, from painful goodbyes and agonizing decisions.

I grab my carry-on, the handle cold against my skin, and trudge toward my gate. If I leave now, Caleb won’t have to make the choice. It’s the logical thing to do. It’s the right thing to do.

So why does it feel so wrong?

The harsh fluorescent lights of the airport reflect off the polished floors, casting a cold, sterile glow over everything. The air is filled with the scent of fast food, turning my stomach.

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself, butmy chest feels tight, and my eyes sting with unshed tears.

“Excuse me, do you know where the nearest coffee shop is?” A middle-aged woman with a kind smile and an unmistakable Southern accent interrupts my spiraling thoughts.

The normalcy of the question throws me off, and I blink a few times. “Um, I think there’s one just around the corner to the left.” I point vaguely in that direction.

“Thank you, darling.” She yanks at her suitcase. “I can’t function without my morning java. You too, huh?” She glances at my disheveled state, her eyes warm with understanding.

“Yeah, something like that,” I mumble, managing a weak smile in return while trying not to think about Caleb’s obsession with a good cup of coffee.

She pats my arm lightly. “Hang in there. New York can be tough, but it’s worth it.”

New York can be tough, but it’s worth it.

This city, with all its challenges and chaos, has become my home. I belong here, with Caleb, fighting for our future, not running away to a past that no longer fits.

The harsh fluorescent lights now seem less intimidating, the sterile glow less cold. Like my mind clears of worries and anxieties, allowing me to see the colors. The brightness. The possibilities.

The scent of fast food becomes a grounding reminder of the life I’ve built in this city. I take another deep breath, but this time it feels more like a resolution than an attempt to calm my nerves.

Caleb’s face flickers through my mind. His determined belief in our future, how we could get through this together.

He believes in us.

And I’m running away like a coward.

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