Page 21 of A Temporary Forever

I make it to my dressing room without much fuss. I guess nobody knows yet. That’s good. I can put everything to the side and focus on dancing.

I share the room with two of my colleagues, and they’re already sitting in front of the mirrors.

“Celeste, where were you last night?” Matilde, the makeup artist, asks.

I put my purse down and rush behind the partition to put on my costume. “I’m so sorry.” I stop myself there because I don’t want to lie. But I can’t say the truth either.

“Was there an admirer who drew you away from us?” Matilde continues, and the other dancers hoot with laughter.

I’m glad I’m hiding, because my face is probably an open book, tears welling in my eyes.

The last time I cried was the day I had to close my dancing school. Before that, at my mom’s funeral.

This is hardly an occasion that matches. And yet the loss is like a lead balloon around my esophagus.

Can I even return to France? Nothing and nobody is waiting there for me. Only sad memories.

My life is here. Maybe not in this theater, but in New York. The city that never sleeps. The melting pot of cultures with such a rich tapestry.

The smell of the sewer and constant traffic delays. Theaters and the whole cultural scene. The congestion and the loud beat of the city. Its vibrant nightlife.

If I marry Caleb van den Linden, I can have it all forever. No more visa renewals, no more dependency. Well, if I don’t count depending on him. But we could divorce, and then I could put it all behind me.

Reopen my school and rebuild my life. And perhaps meet a man who will complete me in the most caring and charming manner.

I walk backward from behind the partition and tap my colleague’s shoulder while clutching the corset to my chest. She pulls at the strings and ties me in.

The only problem with that scenario is that Caleb has probably given up. I drove him away. His only motivation was Saar, and even that wasn’t strong enough. I have nothing to offer him.

You carry yourself with a confidence that is so damn attractive I have to tame the fucking animal in me.

Can I lure the animal? Well, I certainly can, but do I want to? How would that make me feel?

He’s clearly attracted to me, but not enough to treat me with respect. Would one night be enough for him to go through with the marriage?

I sit in front of the mirror, and Matilde gets to work.

Would I be able to erase it afterward? Would that be using my body to advance my life?

But that’s what I’ve always done. Dancing. Using my body. This would be different, but what would be the downside?

It’s a stupid idea, anyway. Why am I even considering it? As petty as it might be, I can’t stand the fact that he had the last word. That he made the decision not to go through with it.

“You’re quiet tonight. Are we not getting any scoop from last night?” Matilde shoves a pin into my hair, my head jerking to the side.

“Why don’t you tell me how the party was?”

She sprays my hair, then purses her lips while she dabs makeup on my skin. “You should have come. Leon was looking all over for you. It seems the lead choreographer has a little crush on his star.”

I snort. “Was he drinking?”He’ll be losing his star soon.

“Close your eyes.” She expertly smooths eyeliner over my eyelid. “Of course he was, but he was still disappointed by your no-show.”

“Ten minutes,” Leon’s voice carries down the corridor.

“Shit.” Matilde rummages through her makeupcase and stops talking, fully focused on the task at hand now.

She finishes with my lips at the same time as Leon’s voice bellows, “Showtime.”

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