Besides, after a lunch of nothing but delicious carbs and a small glass of something called grappa with Gabriele, I’m done for. I’m ready for a cute little nap, especially after last night. But I don’t want to think about last night or Alfonso, especially when all my toys are over two hundred steps away. I’m a mixture of sleepy and grumpy, and Dario appearing does nothing for my mood.
“How are you, sorella?”
“I’m fine,” I say, stretching my legs out on the bench so he’ll sit somewhere else or maybe even leave. I hope he leaves.
He does not. “Where is my brother?” he asks. “I can’t believe he left your side.”
“I don’t like clingy men.”
He looks deep into my eyes, trying to catch me in a lie, but of all the things I have no problem lying about, this is not one. Clingy men and arrogant assholes are two types of men I will not be expending any time or energy entertaining, and I’m beginning to suspect that Dario might be the latter. I think Dario begins to realize that he’s not my favorite brother because he takes a seat on a tree stump stool and changes tactics.
“I love my brother,” he says.
I don’t answer because while I like Alfonso a lot and I have a real affinity for his thick thighs after last night, I certainly do not love him. I could, though — maybe — and that thought shocks the shit out of me. Still, I think it’s best to keep my trap shut.
When I don’t answer, Dario keeps going. “He isn’t always the easiest person to love. He doesn’t always do the right thing. Sometimes he doesn’t even know what the right thing is,” he says. “But he’s a good person when you dig past his rough exterior.”
That rubs me all the way wrong, and I decide to tell him so. “Shut up,” I spit out. “Alfonso doesn’t have a rough exterior.”
Clearly, no one has told Dario about himself in a long time because he sits up straight, and his mouth falls open in shock.
“I don’t know where you get off talking about him like that, but I’d appreciate it if you kept your poor opinion of your brother to yourself.” I have a lot of feelings about Zahra and Shae’s recent decisions — and I plan to tell them each and every one of my thoughts when I see them again — but I wouldn’t let someone talk bad about them to me, and I certainly wouldn’t trash them to a stranger. Not like this.
“I love my brother,” Dario says again.
“Then act like it,” I spit back.
“Dario,” Maria says.
She’s appeared out of nowhere, and I sit up straight. Dario stands and turns to his mother.
“Will you take this to Carlotta?” she says, handing him a bag that I’m sure is full of more of her leftovers. In my mind, I imagine that her food is sustaining this entire valley, and that makes me like her all the more.
“Of course, mamma,” Dario says.
He takes the bag from her and kisses her cheek. He turns back to me and smiles. I don’t return the gesture.
When he’s gone, Maria comes and sits next to me on the bench. There are birds chirping and a dog barking somewhere. I’ve been told it’s Ugo’s, but I haven’t seen him yet.
“I think you will be good for my son,” Maria says.
That sentence makes me feel surprisingly sad. If… No, when Alfonso returns, eventually, he’ll take me back to Naples. I’m going to see Zahra and speak to her, but in the end, if I have to, I’ll leave Italy without them. Alfonso was right; my sister and cousin are grown women, and if they want to stay here with these men, they can. They deserve to be happy.
I’ll leave here, and I’ll never see Maria again, and I feel bad that she thinks this is only the beginning. “Maria,” I say, my mind scrambling for how to open the door to let her down gently. “Alfonso says that you want grandchildren,” I start.
Her face brightens, and she grins at me with Alfonso’s smile. “Si, si, si.”
I take a deep breath and frown at her. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I… I don’t want to have any children.”
Her face falls. “Is it…?” She reaches out and pats my stomach. It’s a little rude but also kind of endearing. “Is something wrong?” she asks.
“No,” I tell her gently. “I’ve just never wanted kids.”
Now she’s frowning sadly. “And Alfonso knows this?”
I nod slowly.
She turns and looks out across the gardens, and I do the same. We sit in more silence until I feel Maria shrug.