Page 40 of Just Say When

“Yeah?” Adam eyed me doubtfully over the rim of his beer. “What’s that?”

“Win the futurity championship. Give Essie what she wants. Use the money to help Cat. He won’t kill me if his sister and mom benefit as much as me, right?”

“Well,” Zack said thoughtfully. “He might still bruise you a little. But he’ll probably leave you breathing.”

We fell silent again, the only sounds the occasional hoot of an owl, the bugle of an elk, or the giddy laugh of a woman.

“You sure you want to do this?” Dad asked quietly. “It seems you’re making an awfully big sacrifice for the people you love. Essie, Cat, Lodestar. What do you get out of it?”

“Pirate is my horse,” I reminded him. “And Lodestaris as much mine as anyone else’s. If this is how I choose to contribute to the success of the ranch, then that’s my decision.”

Dad digested that a moment before speaking. “All right. I’ve said my peace. If it feels right to you, it’s not my place to say it’s wrong.”

“Thanks, Dad,” was all I said.

When the truth was nothing had ever felt more right in my life.

18

Essie

Iwas getting married today. What the actual fuck.

September was my favorite month in Colorado. The air was crisp, the sky blue, and the mountains got their first dusting of snow. The best part was the aspens, their golden leaves even more vibrant against the deep green pines. If I could choose any month for my wedding day, it would be September.

Ironic, really.

I huddled on the cabin porch in my sweats, wool socks, and shearling slippers, a steaming mug of hot coffee keeping my hands warm. It was mid-morning and still chilly. The bright Colorado sunshine would warm it up some by mid-afternoon, when Brax and I would be declared husband and wife.

James, Chloe, Hannah, and Janie were still soundasleep on their air mattresses. I would be too, if it weren’t for this infernal hum of anticipation putting me on edge. Which was so stupid, because this wasn’t even a real marriage.

But somehow it felt real. Brax was real. I was real. Living under the same roof was real. Our friends and family celebrating our union was real.

And the wedding was absolutely real.

Lodestar Ranch was the natural location. For one, because it was free. But also, it was beautiful. Where else could I be surrounded by the horses, mountains, and people I loved the most? It was perfect.

It also could accommodate the guest list, which included nearly every person in Aspen Springs. Such was the way of things here, and we didn’t want to arouse suspicion by going against tradition. We had an uneven ratio of groomsmen to bridesmaids, but the good thing about this being a fake marriage was that we cared less about the minutiae of wedding details that might drive another bride crazy.

I almost wished we had told Jack our plans. He would have found a way to show up for me, even knowing the truth, but that wouldn’t have been fair to him. I didn’t really like the idea of anyone else walking me down the aisle, but I had the feeling if I went it alone, there was a high possibility I’d turn tail and run. So, Mom would walk with me.

A local magistrate would do the honors. Mom was in favor of a minister, but that was a no for me. I could lie to a judge all day without a qualm, but I drew a line at lying to God. I wasn’t even sure I believed in a higher being, but better safe than sorry.

“Hey.” James stumbled onto the porch with a wide yawn. “How’s the most beautiful bride in the world?”

“I’m not beautiful yet,” I laughed, pointing to the hot rollers in my hair. “You’re going to help me fix that, right?”

“You’re gorgeous just as you are, no makeup or fancy hairdo required.” James booped me on the nose. “But I will absolutely help you get ready. That’s what we’re here for.” She flicked a hand over her shoulder toward the door. “The others are getting breakfast going.”

We took our time with cinnamon rolls, bacon, and orange juice. There was no need to rush. I wanted to look nice, of course, since all eyes would be on me, but I had no interest in a big poofy dress. That wasn’t me at all. I had opted for a white sundress of eyelet lace that hit at my knee, and I was pairing that with cowboy boots. I was doing my own makeup, too.

It didn’t take long to get ready once we cleaned up from breakfast. I took extra care with my makeup. I filled in my eyebrows and added false eyelashes, which wasn’t my usual look for a day at the ranch, but other than that, I looked exactly like myself, only prettier. Thelast step was the deep red lipstick I had been loyal to since high school, but I was waiting until the last minute for that.

I stared at myself in the mirror as my friends gushed about my hair, my eyes, my dress. All I could think was,would Brax like it?

Why did I even care? Asking my ex-best friend to likeanythingabout me was a good way to hurt my own feelings. How the hell was I going to marry someone who thought I was a walking catastrophe when my feelings for him were…complicated. So fucking complicated.

My face felt hot. My hands were shaking.

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