Page 39 of Just Say When

“Huh,” I said. “You learn something new every day.” I looked down at the list of facts Chloe had prepared for tonight’s bachelorette prank. Then I aimed my marker at the driver’s side window.

The clitoris has over ten thousand nerves.

17

Brax

“Y

ou know that’s your truck they’re screwing with, right?” Adam said as he cracked open a beer and handed it to me.

“Oh, I know it.” I tipped the beer in a long swallow.

It was a chilly evening, as September evenings were wont to be at this elevation, but the season hadn’t yet tipped to frigid. We were enjoying the last of the light—and the last of my freedom, Zack proclaimed—on the front porch of the main house. From our vantage point, we could just make out the dark shadows of the cabins against the pines and aspens.

There were three cabins in total, originally built for Adam, Zack, and myself—a reason to come home, should the desire or need arise, was what my mom and dad always said. Zack recently had cause to do just that, so he was occupying his for the nextfew months until he was free of crutches. I had never lived in mine, but I was staying there tonight, on account of the wedding we’d have here tomorrow. Dad was currently residing in Adam’s old cabin, but he’d stay in the main house tonight with Adam and Ben so Essie could take his. Apparently, James, Hannah, and Janie were crowding in with her on air mattresses. Cat was installed in a guest room at the main house.

I could hear the women giggling like maniacs as they wreaked their havoc on my truck. I grinned and took another swig of beer.

“Are you going to put a stop to it?” Zack asked. He was sprawled out on the lounger Dad had bought two days ago just so Zack could comfortably enjoy the porch with the rest of us.

“Nah. It’s tradition to decorate the car, isn’t it?” I said. “You know, a just married sign and lots of bells and flowers and whatnot. Tie some cans to the trailer hitch.”

Adam snorted. “You really think that’s all they’re doing?”

“Hell, no.”

Chloe’s high-pitch shriek could rival a rutting elk’s bugle. It mingled with Essie’s husky chuckle and James’s full-bellied laugh. The sounds reverberated against the mountains, giving squirrels heart attacks, probably. We all traded looks and shook our heads.

“When I have a wife, I’m not going to let her touch my truck.” Ben gave me a look like I had disappointedhim. “She can decorate her own car if she thinks it’s so fun.”

I leaned back enough that the front legs of my chair tipped off the ground so I could reach over and ruffle my nephew’s hair. “I think when you find a woman you want to be with for the rest of your life, there’s not much you won’t say yes to if it makes her laugh like that.”

The porch fell silent. I lowered my chair back down with a clank and found my dad and brothers staring at me. “What?”

Dad cleared his throat and raised his beer like a toast. “Good man. Already wise in the ways of keeping your wife happy.”

I smirked. “In my case, it’s a matter of self-defense. Have you ever seen Essie when she’s pissed? She’s going to be in my house for the next several months, at least. Imagine what she could do if she put her mind to it. I’m being smart, is all.”

“Yeah. I’m sure that’s it.” Adam’s tone implied the opposite was true. “Have you heard from Jack at all?”

I shifted uneasily at the mention of Essie’s brother. “He emails and texts when he can. Essie figured it would be best not to tell him we’re getting married until after the ink is dry. He always said he’d be the one to walk her down the aisle and, circumstances being what they are, she didn’t want him moving heaven and earth trying to keep that promise.”

“Huh,” Adam said thoughtfully.

Dad was more direct about it. “Son, that man is going to kill you,” he said bluntly.

Don’t I know it.

“And he knows how,” Zack added helpfully.

A fact I was not unaware of. Jack had more than a decade of training on how to unalive a person should the need arise and, judging from the number of medals he had earned, he was damn good at it.

I had promised him I would take care of her when he couldn’t. Convincing her to go along with this sham marriage probably wasn’t what he had in mind.

Yeah. He was going to kill me, all right.

“I have a plan,” I said.

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