Page 37 of Just Say When

She shrugged. “I’m in no hurry.”

To move in with me. That’s what she meant. And it annoyed me all over again. If she could fake a marriage, then she could damn well fake being happy about it, too.

Except I didn’t want her to fake it. I wanted her to actuallybehappy. Even though I knew that was too much to ask for.

I pulled into the parking lot and cut the engine. Essie looked up from her phone and glanced around. Directly in front of us was Sal’s Home Furnishings. She looked at me.

“You need a lamp?” she asked.

“I need whatever you say I need.” I swiveled my body to face her. “Listen up, hellion. Maybe some of this is fake, but not all of it. Here’s what’s true. The marriage itself. We’re signing our names to a legal document. We’re making promises out loud. That’s real.”

Her mouth opened like she was going to argue, but then she thought better of it and pressed her lips together with a short nod.

“Here’s another thing that’s true,” I continued. “We are going to live together inourhouse. That’s what it is for the duration of our marriage, whether it’s ten weeks or ten years.Ours. So we’re going inside, and you’re picking something that isn’t for the guestroom. I don’t care if it’s a lamp. I don’t care if it’s a brand-new couch. New dining room table? Fine. But it has to be something you like, something that gives you a little bit of happiness. Something that feels like home to you. Got it?”

Surprise and confusion swirled in her eyes, but one corner of her mouth tipped up in a hesitant half smile. “Got it.”

“And when we’re done here, we’re going to the jewelry store to get you a ring, because here’s the thing, hellion, and it’s a very real part of being married to me. Even if your heart isn’t taken, your body sure as fuck is, the same as mine, and you better remember that. While we’re married, it’s me or the vibrator. There are no other options, understand? And we’re putting rings on our fingers so there’s no confusion.”

Her bottom lip fell open on a soft gasp and she stared at me with wide eyes.

“Essie,” I said. It wasn’t often I could render her speechless, and a small part of me wondered if I had gone too far. But she had to know she couldn’t be mywife in name and give someone else her body. It was about more than appearances for me, and I knew she felt differently about it, but I wasn’t asking for more than I was willing to give.

She blinked, swallowed, and shifted in her seat, moving her thighs together in a restless sort of way. A pretty wash of pink spread down her throat.

“I…” Her gaze fell to my mouth.

She wanted to kiss me. I could see it in the flush of her cheeks, her half-lidded eyes, the way she licked her lips. And, fuck, I wanted to kiss her more than I wanted the sun to rise in the morning. But I wasn’t going to do that. Not here, not like this.

“We need to be on the same page about this, Essie. It’s the only way. So if this is something you can’t agree to, you need to tell me now.” The words came out rougher than I intended.

She pulled her gaze from my mouth to look me in the eyes. “I can live with it.”

I paused a beat, waiting for her to change her mind, but she didn’t. “All right, then.”

Maybe she could live with it, but I knew living with it was what would damn near kill me.

16

Essie

Two weeks ago I moved into Brax’s sweet two-bedroom bungalow.

One week ago the Denver Post published our engagement announcement.

Three days ago we drove to the courthouse to pick up our marriage license.

And at two p.m. tomorrow, I would officially be a married woman.

Jesus fucking Christ.

But I wasn’t going to think about that right now.Notthinking about it was how I had managed to hold myself together these past two weeks.

I refused to think about promising Brax, out loud and in front of our friends and family and his smug fucking face, that I would honor, cherish, and love him forthe rest of my life.

I refused to think about the way his voice deepened when he informed me in no uncertain terms that my body was his. At least, I refused to think about it unless I knew he wouldn’t be home for a good hour or so, and then I thought about it a lot with my rose pressed tight to my clit. AndthenI refused to think about what it meant that I had developed a shameful habit of coming with his name on my lips.

Right now, the only thing I was going to think about was how get the L in legend to curve the way I wanted, because it was sewing circle time.

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