Page 83 of Just Say When

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well.” Her head tilted as she considered. “Do you remember when you were twelve and decided to build yourself a barn out back? It was the only way we’d be able to afford keeping a horse, if we didn’t have to pay toboard him somewhere, and there was enough space to set up some barrels for practice, too. You worked on that for two months and got nowhere. You wouldn’t let Brax help. You wouldn’t let Jack help. You kept saying you could do it yourself, until Brax finally said he didn’t know what else to get you for your thirteenth birthday, so you had to let him do it as a present. Do you remember that?”

“Of course I remember.” I almost smiled, remembering how hard Brax had pleaded. Then I shook my head. “I still could have done it myself.”

“Honey, no. You couldn’t have,” Mom said matter-of-factly. “No one can build a barn by themselves, especially not when they’re all of twelve years old. Not you. Not Brax. That’s why he got Jack, his brothers, and his dad to help, too.” She paused, then leaned forward. “He asked for helpto get it done. That’s my point.”

“Subtle, Mom. Real subtle.” I raised my eyebrows. “Are you saying I should have asked my husband to beat up a man for me? Because I don’t think that’s a lesson you want me to learn.”

“Essie, honestly.” Mom sounded stern, but I caught the smirk she tried to hide behind her coffee cup.

“I’m not weak, Mom,” I said. “I’m not fragile. And I am so tired of people treating me like I am. I made it to the top of a very competitive sport. I’m now successfully starting a new career from scratch. I mostly make gooddecisions, and when I don’t, I find a way forward, anyway. I don’t need anyone fighting my battles for me.”

Mom touched my hand. “Honey, no one thinks you’re weak. Especially not Brax. Has it ever occurred to you that he’s not trying to fight your battlesforyou, he’s trying to fight themwithyou? Why won’t you let him?”

I opened my mouth to argue, but nothing came out.

Why wouldn’t I let Brax help me?

She was right. I always told him no. I was determined to prove I could do it myself. I didn’t need anyone. Especially not him.

“You’re the one who told me not to depend on a man. And you were right. Dad never kept a promise.” I wiped furiously at my eyes. “And Brax…what if he does the same thing? He walked away before. He walked away this morning. What if I come to depend on him, and then he’s not there anymore?”

“Oh, honey,” Mom said softly. “Brax isn’t your father. He’s not going to let you down like that.”

“But what if hedoes?” I insisted.

Mom made a face. A sympathetic, heartbroken, determined face. “You know exactly what you’d do about that, Essie, so don’t you sit there and pretend otherwise. Because you’re damn right. You’re not weak. You’re not fragile. So you’d cry about it and then you’d get right back on your feet and move forward.” Her eyes glimmered, with tears and a little mischief. “And you’dcome tell your momma all about it, because she knows how to bury a body.”

I burst out laughing despite myself. “Mom!”

She shrugged. “I’m just saying. Jack has lots of knowledge to impart.”

I shoveled another bite of pie into my mouth. It didn’t change my problems. Brax and I had some things to work out, for sure.

But I knew what I wanted.

I just hoped Brax wanted it, too.

33

Brax

Iwas at the office by seven a.m. By nine a.m. the paperwork was completed and ready to file.

I figured Essie had already left for Lodestar. She hadn’t texted to let me know or ask where I was. That stung more than it should have, considering I hadn’t texted her either.

Just in case she was home waiting for me, I swung by the house. After verifying that her car wasn’t in the garage, I headed straight for Lodestar.

I was going to fix this. I was going to make this right for her.

Her cherry-red SUV was parked right out front of the stables. I didn’t see any sign of her in the training ring, but Pirate’s stall was empty, so maybe she had taken him for a trail ride to stretchhis legs. At least I knew she was here and not off plotting Alan’s demise without me.

“About time you showed up here,” Adam said behind me.

I turned slowly to face my brother. He leaned a hip against the stall door. Smug bastard.

“You.” I jabbed my index finger into his chest for emphasis. “You are a fucking traitor.”

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