Page 74 of The Christmas Romance Wish

However, the objections stall and turn stale like an old record stuck on repeat and worn into the grooves of my mind.

“When I was in the military, we had to rely on each other. Our lives depended on it. When I left, I had a choice. Remain tapped into that brotherhood or go solo. That last option seems lonely if you ask me.”

The words sting. Not because Alex intends to hurt me, but because he’s right. Loneliness is something I try to dodge, and yet, it’s a familiar companion. What would be worse is if I accepted his companionship and then lost it.

Staring at the ground, I say, “If I let anyone get too close, they might disappear from my life.”

“Your brothers too?”

“They’re alive and well, but they’re not in my life as equals. More like I’m a ceramic doll. If anything bad happens I might shatter, so they keep me wrapped up safe. The result of that, I guess, is I don’t let anything bad happen. Or, most of the time, I don’t let anything happen at all.” I think back to all the hours I’ve spent alone, writing in my tower.

“You do remember that yesterday you took a daring leap out of a helicopter, right?”

I can’t suppress my smile. “True. But that’s because you were there.”

“My point exactly.”

“No, that’s my point. I wouldn’t have done it without you, proving that I’m not the strong, independent?—”

“I’m going to stop you right there. Strength isn’t only measured in physical ability. Like what you said to Squirrel Face about value and money. Being independent doesn’t mean you do everything yourself. For instance, I needed a co-writer because I wasn’t good with words. But I’m getting better. That’s all you. You’ve taught me so much.”

“Yeah but?—”

Alex shakes his head. “Yeah but, you look good in leggings. Your butt especially. Where are all your objections getting you, Emmie? What would happen if you took a risk, and I don’t mean the jumping out of a helicopter type of risk? That was something your brothers cautioned you against. I’m talking about going beyond the walls you constructed around yourself to create a shield against loss. But it works both ways—keeps people out and you in. Don’t you see? Without you, I never would have told mystory. You gave me a voice. I want to show you that you hold the key to your loneliness and I’m right here, on the other side.”

“Actually, you can ask Dylann, you gave me your voice.” I glance up at Alex. “I fell in love with it. I’ve fallen in love with you.”

His dimple slowly emerges. “Love isn’t a signal of weakness, Emmie. It’s the greatest, strongest thing there is.”

“But love lost makes a person feel weak.”

“But they’re still wrapped in that love, always, forever. I’m sorry no one ever told you that. Do you know how many times I almost died?”

“Actually, I do.”

Alex smirks. “Right. You wrote all about it. But with each close call, I felt Gram’s love wrapped around me like a blanket. It might sound cheesy, but it’s absolutely true. Her prayers, her love, all of it was with me. In me. Obviously, my relationship with my grandmother differs from ours, but love binds people in the best of ways. Anything else you’ve been told or led to believe is false. Remember, we’re only about the truth here, right?”

Everything he says washes over me like water, rinsing away the falsehoods and leaving me with a fresh, renewed perspective. But I won’t lie. At first, it felt like getting hit with a cold firehose before the warm water of truth soaked through my skin, reaching my bones.

Alex kisses my forehead then draws me close, before holding me at arm’s length. “The one thing I know that’s truer than anything else is that I love you too, Emmie.” Sadness spills over Alex’s features. “I’ve never felt this way and I’ve never said those words.”

My jaw lowers because much like how he didn’t get a merry Christmas as a kid or birthday celebrations, Alex’s only source of love was from his Gram. I know that my parents loved me, Chip, and my brothers. I am so loved and I love this man most of all.

Tears of joy brim in my eyes. “I love you, Alex.”

We both laugh with relief, comfort, and happiness then ourlips press together in a kiss. I’m freezing out here, but everywhere his mouth touches warms me through with truth, love, and swoony feels that set those bah humbugs flying.

Taking his hand, I lower onto the sled. He pushes off and away we go, down the hill.

When we get to the bottom, instead of popping to my feet, I roll off the sled and onto the fluffy snow. I love Alex and the ranch too.

Overflowing with gratitude, I wave my arms and swish my legs from side to side.

“Are you making a snow angel?”

Gazing at the sky, I say, “It’s for your Gram. For my mom and dad too.”

“Thanks. She would’ve loved you.” Alex extends a hand to help me to my feet.

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