Page 6 of Shot to the Hart

“Just checking in Dad. Wanted to see if you needed anything, see how you’re doing,” I respond.

The silence is deafening for a moment. I know he thinks we shouldn’t be checking on him everyday, but it makes me feel better. “For the third time this week, I am perfectly fine, son. I would like to see my granddaughter though.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I just worry about you. I’m sure she’d love to see you too. Are you free this afternoon? I could cook a late lunch and you could play your favorite game with her.”

He chuckles on the other end. “Oh right, princesses, my favorite. I could swing by around one-thirty?”

“That’s perfect.” Bella starts chatting on her monitor. “Oh, she’s up. I’ll see you this afternoon Dad. Love you.”

“Love you, son.” He ends the call, and I type out a quick text to my sister as I head towards Bella’s bedroom.

Me

Miss you, come visit soon?

Grace

Hoping my big bro makes it into the Stanley Cup so I can come celebrate.

Me

Me too. Love you.

Grace

Love you. Hug Bella for me.

A few hours later, Bella and my dad are sprawled across the living room floor. Bella is clinging to Floppy and rubbing her eyes like crazy. “I think it’s naptime, little lady.” I open my arms for Bella to come to me.

“Let me Mav. I could use the extra snuggles,” Dad requests, opening his arms to Bella. She runs right to him, making my mind up for me.

“Well, it looks like the decision has been made. Call me if you need anything,” I say, grabbing my phone out of my pocket. I open social media and start scrolling; I don’t post publicly, but I do keep up with some family and friends on a private page. I see Dom posted a photo of him at the gym, shirtless of course. Grace posted a photo of her, her husband Jason, and their Golden, Billy, hanging out by a beautiful lake. The Manta Rays socials posted a video of some highlights from our preseason game against North Carolina a few weeks back.

“She’s out like a light.” My dad startles me as he sits on the opposite end of the couch, looking down I realize it’s been twenty minutes. I lock my phone and stick it back in my pocket.

“So, Mav, I wanted to talk to you about something,” he grimaces and I look at him expectantly. “I think that it’s time I take a step back in caring for Bella.”

“Wait. What? Why?” He loves being with Bella, even gets sad sometimes when I’m home because it means he doesn’t have to come spend the day with her. He and Ma moved down here when I got drafted to be close to me and to continue to help with Bella.

“Mav, you know I love and adore that little girl with my whole heart. She is a ball of energy that quite frankly I can’t keep up with, and I’m old and tired.” He chuckles at himself,” I’m not saying that I don’t want to help you with her, she is the sunshine in my life since your mother passed, but I can’t do it full time anymore, especially with how much you’re gone during the season. I’ll still help until you find someone, I won’t leave you high and dry.”

Over the past seven months, I can see the changes in my dad. He looks older and has less energy. Even my sister, Grace, has noted from thousands of miles away that Dad still seems to be grieving seven months later. There’s no timeline on grief and maybe Bella is the reason I haven’t truly sat and processed the loss of Ma. My throat begins to clog with unwanted sadness.

“No, Dad I think it’s time I bring someone in full time anyways. I’ve been meaning to do it since Ma died, but I could see how much spending time with Bella means to you. Plus, I lost her in the grocery store the other day, I need the extra hands. It’s just the thought of bringing someone in that I don't know is scary, so I’ve been pushing it off.” I sigh.

“Trusting someone new can be scary, but if you’re thorough with who you hire and you set a standard of care for her, theneverything should be fine. If you ever feel like she isn’t getting the care she deserves then you hire someone new,” my dad gives me a piece of that good old wisdom, he always knows exactly what I need to hear.

“You’re right, I know that the team will have things in place to help me ensure her safety as well. NDAs and all of that fun stuff.”

“Exactly. She will be fine and you will too. There is one more thing I wanted to tell you. . .I think I’m going to start therapy. I know that you and Grace check on me every other day because you can see I’m not myself. I’ve been trying hard to push through and be myself, but I don’t know what I look like without your Ma beside me.” My parents were together since they were fourteen, grew up together, and now she’s gone. I feel my eyes begin to water and when I look into my dad’s eyes, I see the same watery expression.

“Oh, Dad, that’s wonderful news. I know you usually say this to me, but I’m proud of you.” And for the first time since Ma’s funeral, Dad pulls me into a hug and we cry together.

“Okay, so have we gotten any applicants?” I sigh, lifting my beer to my lips. Tatum, my best friend, sits across from me watching Bella on her monitor because “she is the cutest when she is asleep”. Tatum loves Bella but is firmly against having children of his own. He has been my personal assistant since I moved to Tampa and joined the Manta Rays, playing center position.

“Yeah, a few. We can start going through applications soon, I want to give it a little more time. You lost her in the grocery store last week man, you’ve missed every opportunity to go out with the guys, and remember when you had to call Collins todrive your dad to urgent care because Bella was sleeping and you didn’t want to wake her up? You need help now more than ever, I’ve just been waiting for you to see it yourself, ” he replies, not bothering to look up at me.

“Yeah, yeah, rub it in then why don’t ya?” I exasperatedly reply, taking another sip of my beer. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that my dad is taking a step back for himself. It’s bittersweet considering that he’s doing it for his own well-being, but I’m losing the person that IknowI can trust with Bella’s care. “I wish you could act as a manny too.”

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