Page 48 of Shot to the Hart

It’s the hardest thing to do, but I pull back from Kodi, not letting go of her face and allowing her to keep her grasp on me. She’s searching my face for something, but I don’t know if she’ll find what she’s looking for.

“What is it? Why did you stop?” she asks tentatively, but continues grinding into me. My grip on her waist doesn’t loosen as I watch her mouth part into a small O shape. Seeing her lust-filled expression has me regretting my decision to pull away and I go in for one more kiss, her body melting into mine immediately. I really have to stop this now. This time I Iet my forehead rest against hers.

“We really shouldn’t do this.”As much as I’m dying to let it happen over and over again.

Her movement has slowed to a stop and her eyebrows are furrowed on her beautiful face as she pulls her head away from mine. ”Is that really what you want, Mav?”

I don’t want it at all. I want to kiss her everyday. I want to make her scream my name. I want to sleep with her wrapped in my arms. I can’t though, not with Bella’s heart involved too.

“I wish I had another answer, Kodi. I really fucking wish I did but we can’t do this. I can’t.” I groan and I try to maintain eye contact to convey that this is exactly the opposite of what I want to do, but I can tell immediately that she is hurt by that statement. In the way that she pulls back, in the way that hereyes well with tears, in the way that she lifts herself off my lap, and in the way that without a word, she takes off in the direction of her bedroom

Throwing my head backwards, scrubbing my hand down my face, I groan. “Fuccccck. You’re an idiot.”

I finally drag myself to my room and let the regret of stopping wash over me. I consider banging her door down and picking back up where we left off, but I also consider dropping to my knees and asking her to forgive me for being a monumental idiot. I’m in deep and we are towing a very thin line. A shower, a shower will definitely help. Beelining it for my bathroom, I turn my shower on hot enough that it could melt my skin.

Stepping in, I lean my head back and close my eyes under the water, but all I see are those green eyes looking back at me. I shouldn’t be thinking about her, but my cock has other thoughts, getting harder by the second. Thinking of her sweet and curvy little body and how she looked wearing my sweats, the way her lips parted while she was asleep in the same bed as me. The flush of her cheeks because of whatever she was reading. I groan and reach down, giving in, just this once, stroking myself to that image, imagining what her moans would sound like if I touched her in the right places. Would they be breathy and light? Would she hold back? Fuck no. I wouldn’t let her, I’d want to hear all of the noises I could drag out of her. My strokes get rougher, my balls tighten and I come with a muffled groan into my elbow. This cannot happen again.

Once I settle into my bed, I realize I desperately need to talk to someone. I text Tate. As my best friend, he will probably give me shit, but will also help me organize my thoughts.

Me

I fucked up.

I lay there in the dark of my room. I can’t believe I kissed her and then sent her away. She’s going to resent me. It really had nothing to do with her. I want her, but I also can’t sleep with her. I know myself, I feel myself getting more attached, I won’t just want sex. I want her thoughts and her tears and her affection. I’m so screwed.

Tate

What did you do? I can’t handle another niece, bro.

Me

Firstly, fuck off. Secondly, we didn’t have sex. But I kissed her and I let it go too far. When I stopped us going any further, she was clearly upset.

Tate

Her who?

Me

You know who.

Tate

You didn't.

Those three little dots go wild until his next message pops through.

Tate

Tell me you didn’t make a move on the nanny.

Me

I can’t do that.

Tate

Jesus, Mav. Did you apologize?

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