Page 1 of Shot to the Hart

PROLOGUE

KODI

The Breakup

2 months earlier

“This relationship just isn’t working for me anymore, Kodi.” He moves a wild hair out of my face to maintain eye contact with me. This move used to give me butterflies, but right now it makes my skin crawl. He continues, “I think we’ve both known that for a while, but neither of us wanted to address it. I need you to move out of the apartment this weekend.”

“Excuse me. You’re breaking up withmeout of nowhere when just last week we were talking about the future we envisioned for us? Then, you give me four days to get all of my stuff together and get out of the apartment?” I reply, completely flabbergasted by this, I thought he held a little more respect for me than that. “The future thatyouenvisioned for us,” he corrects.

Five years, family holidays, building a life together and promises of a ring and a family are now just empty promises hemade to me for years. Meeting fresh out of high school where he worked at our local movie theater, we were attached at the hip from the moment he asked me on our first date. His outgoing and kind demeanor was one of the things that drew me to him. He would drop everything for me if I was upset about anything, he would spend Sundays with his mom just to see her smile, he would drop by my mom’s just to steal a kiss and drop off flowers. I’m seeing none of that man standing in front of me. My Andy wouldn’t just abandon our relationship for no reason. My Andy would have a discussion with me about his feelings and then we would move forward together. This man is not my Andy.

“Why are you rushing this? We have two rooms. Can’t you give me a little time to find other arrangements before just kicking me to the curb?” He flinches a little at the anger that has seeped into my words.

I start to panic and begin fidgeting with the hair tie on my wrist again. It would typically hold my jet black hair into place, but I decided to wear it down today, forgoing my typical messy bun.

I’m moving away from him, needing the space to keep a clear head and closing my eyes.

Maybe this is just a bad dream and when I open my eyes, we will be snuggled up in bed and everything will be okay again.

I can't break down in front of him.

Unfortunately, when I open my eyes, Andy is standing right in front of me, attempting to reach for me, speaking to me, but I can’t make out the words over the pounding that’s begun in my head. Running towards the bedroom, I lock the door behind me. My breaths are coming in shallow, I’m shaky, and I can feel the weight of this whole situation closing in on me. The panic, feeling heavier than my body can handle, causes me to slide to the floor and drop my head into my hands. My thoughtsare running rampant; I can’t organize them, making my chest tighten even more, my breaths becoming jerky.

Holy shit. What am I going to do? I have nowhere to go, no savings to cover my ass, since Andy swore up and down he would take care of me for the rest of whatever lives were ahead of us.

It was all bullshit.

I’ve got my job nannying for Bill and Trent, but I haven’t been saving, I’ve been spending. I should have been putting money aside, just in case, but no, those empty promises made me believe that I had nothing to worry about. That I wouldn’t need money to rent a place alone, to get a moving truck, to take on bills that have been split for years. I don’t even have rental history considering Andy’s name holds the lease, and our apartment complex didn’t require my name to be added.

I force myself to attempt a few deep breaths.

In.One. Two. Three.

Out.One. Two. Three.

Repeating until my breathing has steadied. I pray that Andy doesn’t knock on the door but secretly hope he does, and provides the comfort that only he has ever been able to provide.

He comes to the door and knocks after a few minutes, but I can’t bring myself to face him. Immediately my chest tightens and I can feel my eyes getting watery again.

“Love, please talk to me. I know you weren’t expecting this, but it’s what's right for both of us. I think we can both be happier.” His muffled voice comes through the door. The nickname burns my ears.

The tears are falling now. How long was he unhappy? Why doesheget to decide I’ll be happier without him? What lies is he telling me right now? How long was he really planning on doing this? Were there signs that he was unhappy that I missed? I attributed his change in attitude and lack of affection the past few months to work stress.

On shaky knees, I push up and turn towards the door, swiping at my cheeks and opening it to find Andy pacing back and forth, shoving his hands through his dark brown curls.

Like a predator approaching its’ scared prey, Andy approaches me and pulls me into a hug that I accept. I don’t know why I do, I should be mad at him, but I need this last embrace.

He held me like this for what felt like hours, when in reality it was just a few minutes to let my breathing calm again and ground me in this moment with him.

“What did I do wrong?” I can’t look at him, but I feel like if I don’t ask him this now I may never know.

He sighs a shaky breath as if he is on the verge of tears. “Kodi, you didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve been a wonderful partner, but we’ve been together for years and I don’t see us moving past this stage of life. You’re comfortable where we are and don’t want to go out and experience what life has to offer. I… don’t think I want kids anymore either and that has always been so important to you.”

“I just don’t understand. Everything was fine, or I guess it wasn’t. Is there anything I can do to change your mind?” A choked sob is threatening to escape me as his comment jolts me, intensifying the burning in my chest.

“No, KJ, there isn’t. I’m not willing to let you change yourself to make me happy. I’m sorry,” is all he says.

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