Page 94 of Full Send

“You know that’s not how things work, Veronica,” he says, his tone matching my own irritation.

“Then how do they work, Jeff? I’ve been the top performer on this team for years. I’ve covered for you so many times. I’ve put together most of the work you’ve taken credit for. So yeah, tell me what I need to do. Enlighten me, please.”

I feel the flood gates open, years of angst pouring out of me. In the back of my head, I hear Tanner’s voice.

Stop wasting your life on something that brings you down… They don’t deserve you…

Fuck, why does he always have to be right? I wasn’t ready to hear those words when he said them, but after being back here, I know he was right. I don’t need this. I still don’t know exactly what I need in my life, but it’s absolutely notthis.

I look at Jeff, his eyes wide, a vein throbbing in his forehead as he opens his mouth, like a fish gasping for air, to start to say something.

Nope, hold that thought, Jeff.

Fuck it. Let’s do it, Ronni.

Full. Send.

“Jeff, you know what, don’t even bother telling me what I need to do to convince you I’m worthy of being director. I quit.”

I quit.

Those two words.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt more satisfied, more alive, more relieved, by saying two simple words before.

Is this what Tanner feels like all the time, just letting go and doing what he wants?

The stunned look on Jeff’s face brings an eager grin to my own. Fuck, that felt so good.

I stand up, grabbing my bag and a couple things off my desk.

“It’s been real, Jeff,” I say, as I turn around and walk towards the exit, down the long drab hallway.

I’ve walked down this hallway thousands of times over the years. I remember the starry eyed Veronica that first came here, the dreams she had, how excited she was to be here. That girl feels so foreign now, her dreams no longer my own. Walking down this hallway now, all I can think about is how I don’t want those things any more.

I want to be happy. I want time for the people I love. I want time to do the things I love.

The thought takes my mind back to something else Tanner said when we were arguing.

Maybe I should grow up and be more like you. Give up on the things I’ve always wanted, like you.

In the moment, I thought he was saying he should just give uplike me. But now, thinking about all the things I want, I realize he meantgive up me. Give up what he’s wanted the most in life.

No Tanner, you were right. Please don’t give up. Please keep fighting.

My heart stings at the thought of him being that hurt, feeling like he should give up hope.

Fuck. I can’t wait to never see this toxic place again.

I walk out the doors into the cool winter air with the warm sun on my face, feeling like a new me.

Chapter 48

Ronni

The Stowaways

Iflop down on my couch, exhaling as the events of the last two days flash through my mind like a slideshow. Forty-eight hours ago, I was the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I was in Jackson, waking up with the man of my dreams, living in a cocoon of security, sheltered from the stresses of my life.

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