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There’s a hint of amusement in his voice, like he enjoys taking his time, teasing me to get to the point. But I’m curious. I loved everything we had tonight and my culinary curiosity is piqued by the thought of trying to make these dishes at home.

“Why would they share them with you?” I look at him, raising an eyebrow, feigning mock skepticism.

He tilts his chin towards the open kitchen. “Look closely at the back wall, above the prep counter.”

I look over to the kitchen across the restaurant. The back wall of the kitchen is floor to ceiling white subway tiles with black grout. Featured prominently above the counter is a long magnetic knife holder, with about a dozen or so knives of different styles. Chef’s knives, slicers, cleavers, santokus. Even from here though I notice that they’re all Damascus steel blades.

I look back to Tanner. He’s still smirking, a dimple on one side peeking through his light stubble. “The chef got his first one from the Eclectic Elk and asked Giselle how to get more custom ones. Ever since then, I’ve been making whatever he wants. So I’m pretty sure I could get you a recipe or two.”

I can’t help but shake my head. “You just keep surprising me.”

After dessert, which was totally worth it, I need all of my will power not to fall asleep on the ride back. I’m exhausted, but still eager to get to the cabin and enjoy every minute I can with Tanner.

???

Back at the cabin, we let Rex out. Tanner tosses the ball for him while we stand by the door, talking about our favorite dishes from dinner and which ones I think I could make on my own. I remember when my grandparents had a dog and I forgot how soothing and calming it can be to play with them. All of this with him just feels so natural. I could definitely get used to this nightly routine.

Finally we go back inside and curl up on the couch, watching the weather report to see what the ski day tomorrow has in store. We’re meeting Collin and Lizzy for the normal morning routine, but then they’re coming back here for dinner. I was planning to cook but Tanner insists on helping. And truthfully, I’m excited. I never get to cook with anyone, much less the man of my dreams.

Watching the local news, I rest my head on Tanner’s shoulder. Although Tanner smiles every time I look up at him, something is still off. The normal intense look in his green eyes dulled ever so slightly.

“Ok,” I say, rubbing the back of his hand with my thumbs. “What’s up? You’ve been too quiet since we’ve been back here.”

I can feel his body tense as he holds his breath. Clearly, I was right. It blows my mind how I can read him so well now. It’s like ever since I realized he has such strong feelings for me, every other little thing about him clicked into place and makes sense now. He leans over, resting his head on top of mine. He sighs and his body relaxes.

“I’m worried about what’s next for us.” he starts. “This last week has been the best time of my life. I don’t want to ever lose this feeling, to lose you.”

My heart stops. I should have been prepared for this, I knew it was coming too. But it still stings to hear it, to think about it.

“Tanner,” I say, tilting his face up to look at me, “I love you. I don’t know what’s next either. But I know this is real and I know we have time. We’ve got another week before I leave. Let’s just keep enjoying this.”

“I know,” he starts, looking like he’s swallowing a lump in his throat. “I’m just so afraid of feeling like I used to. Alone.”

The knot in my stomach hurts just thinking about him feeling like that again. He’s right. We should talk about this.

“Hey,” I say, grabbing his hand. “You’re right. Let’s talk. We don’t have to figure this all out right now, tonight, but let’s start. I get five weeks of vacation a year, plus holidays. I’m already going to Aspen Valley next month with Lizzy and then I’m coming out here again in early March for a long weekend ski trip.”

My mind is momentarily back in planning mode, running through every scenario to be with him in the near future.

“You could come down to Utah when I’m there next month for a few days and then I’ll stretch out the March trip, work remote a few days, and take an extra day off. That’ll get me a week and a half out here,with you.I promise I will use all my time off to get out here and spend as much time with you as I can. I’ll work remote and stretch out holidays. I know it’s not a lot, but it’s a start until we can figure out a better long term plan. I just want you to know I’m serious about this. I know we can do anything if we work together. I’m serious Tanner, I love you. Just please, trust me.”

I can feel him exhale deeply at my last words.Trust me. I think if anything, the idea of trusting me puts him at ease, thesame way trusting him puts me at ease. I can see the hard lines of his face soften. He cups my cheek, kissing me on the forehead.

“Thanks. That sounds perfect. I love you too and I do trust you,” he says, pressing our foreheads together. “I promise I’ll always fight for this. I’m just sorry it took me so long to tell you how I felt.”

“You never have to apologize, Tanner. I’m just finally glad you shot your shot and told me how you feel,” I say, leaping to my feet now that he’s finally relaxed again. “Now, as much as I like hanging with you on the couch, I’m going to get into my PJs. I’ll be right back.”

I kiss him before running back to the bedroom to change, Rex on my heels following me.

???

Looking in the mirror, I do a little twirl, I think even I agree that it’s pretty hot. I can’t believe I packed one of these.

Here goes nothing.

“Oh Tanner,” I call from the bedroom door. “Ready for your surprise?”

He looks away from the TV towards me, his face practically going white as his jaw drops. He looks like he’s seen a ghost.

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