Collin turns his back toward us, rolling his eyes.
“Very funny, Chap,” he says, before turning his attention back to the sidewalk in front of him. He leads us through the center of the town square past the ice rink towards one of the arches on the opposite corner.
“So, what’s the plan tomorrow again?” Lizzy asks, looking back to me.
Before I can even answer, Tanner’s deep voice cuts through the cool night air.
“8:30 Tram Center, I’ll bring coffees. We can get a full ski day in while everyone is hungover and have the slopes practically to ourselves all morning. Then figure out something for dinner. That sound good to you guys?”
Lizzy and Collin both shrug their shoulders and nod.
Tanner looks to me next. It’s more or less what I had originally planned, but still. It’s nice not to have everyone looking to me for my plan all the time. It sucks feeling like people are always on edge around me, treading lightly. Like if they go against my plan, I’ll be an anxious mess. It’s not like I want to be like this all the time. I don’t want tohaveto be in control.
“Yeah, Tanner. Sounds perfect,” I say. “We can see how everyone’s doing around lunch time and play dinner by ear.”
“Awesome,” he says smiling, “and sometime this week, we need to get dinner with Grandma. She’s been dying to see you guys.”
“I could definitely use some more Grandma Chapman in my life. Christmas Day wasn’t enough. Ugh those cookies and her chicken pot pies. So good. Sign me up, Chap.” Collin is practically drooling by the time he finishes talking. Shoot, even I’m hungry now thinking about her cooking.
“Definitely, Tanner. Count me in,” I say.
“You know me guys. I’m always happy to put down some food,” Lizzy says, shrugging her shoulders. “Now, can we keep walking? It’s cold as shit here.”
As Lizzy and Collin start walking down the winding sidewalk through the square, I cozy up to Tanner. I let my hand brush his while we walk side by side.
“Thanks, Tanner,” I whisper.
He looks at me, a puzzled expression on his face. “For what?”
“For making the plans for tomorrow. It drives me nuts when everyone always looks to me for what they’reallowedto do. Like somehow, I have to approve everything. It’s a reminder that I do struggle with anxiety. Just because planning helps my anxiety doesn't meanI actually like it.”
“Oh. Well, thank you for letting me know. I’ll be sure to do it again.” He smiles for a second before looking ahead at Collin and Lizzy. Hearing him say this, I know he’ll do this again too. It’s like if I say something or ask for something one time, it’s lodged in his memory forever.
We walk through the square, still cautiously lagging behind Collin and Lizzy. We reach one of the elk antler arches, glistening with white Christmas lights. I feel Tanner’s hand slowly grab mine, holding it tightly. I look up at him, hisbeautiful smile, those piercing green eyes staring into me, stripping away my layers of anxiety and self doubt, planting me firmly in the here and now.
I feel at peace in a way I can’t remember. I deserve this. I don’t care if Collin or Lizzy sees. I still don’t know what this is or where it’s going, but I do know this is the best I’ve felt about life,about myself,in ages. I’m going to enjoy every second of my time with this man because who knows when I’ll feel like this again.
Time to be more like him.
Send it, V.
I lean forward, standing on my tippy toes to reach his face. I pull him towards me, one hand on his lower back, one cupping his softly stubbled face. Our lips meet and it feels like time stops.
He kisses me back, his lips longing for me. He pulls me in closer now, one hand on my hips and the other on my nape. I begrudgingly pull away, our foreheads still pressed together. I can feel his warm breath on me in the cold night air. I’m close enough to feel his heart pounding in his chest, like mine.
“Tanner, I think I’m falling for you,” I say, practically whispering to him.
“Well, Ronni,” he says, his deep voice lowered, matching my whisper, “I started falling for you years ago and now I finally feel like my feet are on the ground here with you.”
The magical moment is interrupted by Collin’s familiar presence as he clears his throat with exaggeratedahem.
Fuck. Whatever. I’m ready for it. I deserve what I have with Tanner right now. Not even Collin can take that away.
I look at Tanner, his face is much more concerned. I know he was dreading this moment.
“Well?” Collin’s voice is low, darker than usual. He looks at us, his wide eyes taking in the picture. Lizzy is next to him, but she’s easy to read. Her jaw is dropped, but only for a moment asit turns into a wide grin as she starts to nod her head in approval. But Collin, his face is still blank.
Shit. What is he thinking?