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Collin’s low voice hums, “Fuck me, that feels so good.”

“Ugh I needed this. I’ve beenso tight.” Lizzy’s voice is muffled by her pillow, but I can still hear her whimper.

They’re too much.

“For fuck’s sake guys, I love you both but I’m trying to enjoy my massage and it sounds like you’re reliving your cowboy encounter. Can you tone it down a notch?”

I can feel the masseuse’s hands pause for a brief second and I think I hear him try to choke back a laugh. I turn my head on the massage table to judge Lizzy’s reaction. She’s still looking down into the headrest of her massage table but manages to lift an arm and give me the middle finger. The other two masseuses shake their heads and are grinning but don’t stop working.

I can see Collin though and he’s shaking his head too. “Looklil sis, if Tanner and you are going to subject us to constant PDA, then you’re just going to have to suck it up. Lizzy and I are buds now.”

“Hell yeah, Collin. You tell her.” Even with her head still buried in the massage table, her sassiness comes through loud and clear.

Maybe booking a three person massage wasn’t the most relaxing idea? There are six of us in this small, dimly lit room with rainforest sounds playing in the background and it’s definitely making for an interesting vibe. Either way, I’m glad to get some alone time with these two. I’ve spent most of the last week and a half trying to enjoy every second I can with Tanner and feel bad that I haven’t had as much time with them as I had planned. Even if this new unholy alliance of Collin and Lizzy is a terrifying force to be reckoned with.

“Well, I’m glad to see you’ve moved on from your fears about Collin hitting on you,” I tease, still enjoying the hands working on my back. They aren’t as big and strong, or as magical, as Tanner’s, but this still feels great.

“Whatever, V. Sodid I get this right? Your date tonight is going out for late night coffees and then riding along with yourboyfriendin his snow plow all night?” Lizzy finally turns her head on her table, looking over at me.

Ok, when she puts it like that, it doesn’t sound that romantic or exciting I guess. But I can tell Tanner really wants to do this and I’m excited to get another peek into his life here in Jackson. And frankly, I’m enjoying these little mundane things with him. Small glimpses into his daily life.

“Yeah, that’s exactly it. You got it right.” I press my lips together, realizing I can’t really shrug laying face down on a massage table. “I’m looking forward to it though. I just want to take advantage of all the time I have left here on this trip.”

She smiles at me, closing her eyes when they roll back into her head while her masseuse works on her shoulders. “Yeah. So, have you guys talked about the whole long distance thing?”

Ugh. Why does everyone need to keep asking this? But I get it, they want to know and I’d be curious too. I mean it does feel crazy, but it also just feelsright. I look back down into the headrest, not wanting to look either of them in the eye as I answer.

“We’ve talked a bit. Not in a ton of detail yet. We’ve still got a few nights in town to talk more. But it’s serious. We know we both want to make this work long term. It’s just a matter of how. And speaking of trips.” I pause for a moment, thinking of what Tanner and I talked about the other night. “I sort of invited to Tanner to Utah next month on our Aspen Valley trip.”

I can hear Lizzy sigh and almost see the expression in her voice. Here comes some condescending or sarcastic quip.

“That will be awesome. Especially if it means I get chill, relaxed Veronica. Oh and maybe I can meet his brother.” She lets out a laugh and I know she’d be winking at me if we were facing each other. “But seriously, I hope it works. You deserve to be this happy all the time. You guys are amazing together already. I can’t believe how much more confident and relaxed you’ve been the last week and a half. I’m putting my money on you two figuring it out.”

My head jerks up, surprising the masseuse. Lizzy is rarely this serious and it feels weird to hear it. I wish I could see her expression, but her face is still resting in the massage table nook.

“Thanks. It does feel pretty great. But for the record, Clay is a grumpy asshole and even Tanner would tell you that.” She’s right though. I do deserve this. For once, everything is going great. I feel amazing. I just want this feeling to last forever.

Does that make me delusional? Even if it does, I don’t really care at this point honestly.

Lizzy laughs. “Really. I’d take this version of you any day. You said fuck it, let’s take the day off from skiing and booked us alast minute spa day? Three weeks ago, I couldn’t imagine you changing our plans like that. Love this for you.”

I hear Collin move and look to see him prop himself up on his elbows, facing me now. His expression is oddly serious. “Look, sis. I know I’ve been giving you guys shit about PDA. But I’ve always kind of known deep down that he was in love with you. Maybe I blocked it out, maybe I ignored it. But I remember the way his voice would change if I mentioned you or the way he’d follow you around like a puppy dog. Looking back now, so much more makes sense.”

I look over. He shakes his head, reaching down for his water bottle on the floor and taking a drink.

“Fuck me, it’s hot in here.” He wipes the sweat from his brow and puts the water bottle back down. “But really sis, he will do anything for you. If there’s one thing Tanner is, it’s loyal. In fact, you probably have his loyalty to me, as a friend, to blame for him waiting this long to ever tell you how he feels.”

He lays back down and lets out a low groan as the masseuse starts to work again.

“Well thanks for all thisgirl talk.I think this is going to end up being a great girls trip after all. Glad you two are here, really.”

I try to relax again and enjoy the last twenty minutes of our massage. My legs are beat from all of the skiing and it feels amazing being able to stop and just lay here. I did need this. But maybe not as much as I would have three weeks ago.

Does it feel great? Yes.

Is it great to hang out with Collin and Lizzy? Yes.

Three weeks ago, I was completely burnt out and any physical relief would have sounded amazing and otherworldly. I would have begged for a massage at that point. But now, I find myself relaxed, my constant anxiety and accompanying physical stress practically gone. I find myself thinking about how much I want Tanner’s hands on me. Thinking about the man that’s beengiving my body nearly endless pleasure, like he’s making up for lost time. I’m thinking about how much I just want to see Tanner tonight. The man that’s reminded me I’m so much stronger than I give myself credit for.

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