I laugh. “What? That’s what you’ve always said though, even when he’s not around. Why isn’t he your favorite?”
I watch as Grandma smiles and shares a knowing look with Grandpa before he sighs and grins back at her.
“Oh Tanner. Your Grandma’s favorite has always been Veronica because we know she’s your favorite.”
I inhale sharply, holding my breath. A very unwelcome, unfamiliar feeling of panic sinks in. Grandma laughs, seeing the terrified look on my face before placing her hand over mine on the table.
“Honey. We’ve always known. The way you’ve always looked at her. The way you talk about her. The way you smile whenshe’s around.” Somehow her words make me relax just enough to finally exhale.
“How do you know that?” I ask, still a bit terrified that they’ve apparently known for god knows how long.
“Tanner,” Grandpa starts, “you might be able to fool Collin and Veronica. You might be able to even fool yourself. But believe me, we’ve known for years.”
Well that’s unsettling. I guess I’ve been a lot worse at hiding my feelings than I thought. But that doesn’t change the fact I’ve wanted to hide my feelings from everyone.
I think back to talking with Collin on the chair the other day. I was this close to opening up to him. This close to telling him how lonely I’ve been lately and how down I’ve felt. Fuck it. Let’s give this a shot. They already can see right through me apparently.
“Alright. Well since you two know everything, maybe I’ll share something else. But you have to promise me that you will not share this with anyone. Dad, Clay, Grace and especially not Collin or Ronni’s friend Lizzy. Can you do that?”
Grandpa straightens in his chair. “We’ll make that promise. But you know the Chapman’s rule about promises.”
I close my eyes and sigh deeply. “Yes Grandpa. I know. We’re as good as our word and if we make a promise-.”
He cuts me off before I can finish.
“If we make a promise, we’ll keep it or die trying.”
“Good. Well, I think Ronni and I might be more than friends now. I don’t what we are exactly, but we’re-.” This time it’s Grandma that cuts me off.
“Sweetie. You don’t need to tell us. All we want to know is if you’re both happy?” She smiles at me the way only a grandmother could.
“I think we are. Yes, we definitely are right now. I just… don’t know where it’s going. I just know I never want it to end.”The wave of relief from saying that out loud finally, even to my grandparents, is instant. Geez. That felt good.
Chapter 28
Veronica
Little Bitch Bear
Today was surprisingly uneventful on the slopes. After calling it an early day and taking a much needed afternoon nap, we head to downtown Jackson to meet up with Tanner. I borrow Lizzy’s black sweater dress since I didn’t pack anything particularly exciting for the trip. I mean come on, I wasn’t planning on any of this to happen. No where on my itinerary was there a line for finding an impossibly handsome and sexy friend with benefits that wants to make me come every chance he gets. A man that I’m pretty sure gets off on just watching me smile. But now, part of me just wants to look good for a night on the town, another part of me wants to look good for Tanner. Even now, his confidence is oozing into me and I feel amazing tonight.
Tonight should be fun. A night out for drinks with Collin, Lizzy, and Tanner. But there’s a sinking feeling in my gut. It’s New Year’s Eve, and downtown Jackson is so romantic, and I have a man here that I think I might be starting to have feelings for.
No. One that I definitely have feelings for.
I can’t stop thinking about him every second. The way he makes my body feel is unreal. But the way my mind is clear when I’m with him is frighteningly welcome. But I can’t act on it, and have to settle for these little stolen moments with him.
Lizzy and Collin unsurprisingly both look fantastic. Lizzy is wearing a silver sequined nineteen-twenties styled cocktail dress with white cowboy boots. Collin is wearing slimming blue jeans, a nice white shirt, and a well tailored blue plaid blazer.
When we get to the bar, I’m flooded with nostalgia. Much like the Frisky Fox, it would be easy to come into this place and think it’s a cheesy tourist trap. But it’s been here since the thirties and remains authentic.
The first thing that jumps out is the size of the place. Running down the right hand side is an obscenely long bar. The counter is lined with thousands of old silver dollar coins covered in epoxy, like they’re floating in a sea of black. They were originally put there as a way to lure in visitors wanting to see them, and the trick still works today.
Behind the bar is a collection of old timey mirrors with bull horns above them. In front of the bar are some of the coolest bar stools I’ve ever seen, made out of old saddles that tourists pretend to live out there cowboy dreams on. The theme continues through the rest of the bar with wood paneled walls on all sides, wooden log support beams running down the middle of the room, and a collection of Old West artifacts throughout.
As I look down the long bar, I see Tanner. Even with his back to us, it’s easy to pick out his tall, broad frame while he talks to two bartenders. Seeing him now, I’m reminded of the sinking feeling in my stomach this morning when we got to the Tram Center and Tanner wasn’t there waiting for us with coffees in hand. It’s startling how much I have already gotten used toTanner being there in the morning, a grounding presence to start my day.
We head his way and he turns around to greet us. As he looks at me, I stop in my tracks, looking at him from the ground up. He’s wearing a pair of clean brown Chelsea boots, a pair of perfectly faded jeans, a brown leather belt with a large western belt buckle, and a white and blue western shirt with pearl snap buttons. But his face, I can’t stop staring at it.