Page 98 of Diavolo

Alessandro placed a hand beneath her chin to tilt her face toward him. "I am not worried at all. I have full confidence in you."

She grimaced. "The stakes seem high.Too high. People will die if I fuck up."

Hell, she could die, Alessandro could die, too, but Elyse chose to leave those fears buried inside her heart. It felt like a bad omen to utter the words aloud.

"You worry too much,cuore mio. I am sure there have been patients who died in your care as well. You cannot save everyone," he said. "How is this any different?"

Her eyes flitted to his face with an accusing stare. "Thisisdifferent, though."

"How?"

Elyse fell still for a moment. The challenge in his tone stirred up a slew of deeply embedded emotions. Unrest unraveled her composure. Her identity as a person seemed to be swaying in limbo. It took Elyse some time to find the right words to voice the complexity of her thoughts. "The motives behind our actions define us. For years, my purpose at the hospital was to save lives, but, now, as your wife, I won't be striving for the greater good. I may be doing just the opposite."

A new kind of tension surged in the air. It felt like the strain between two sides of a heated debate. Elyse was still straddlingAlessandro's lap. He was no longer hard, though. The contrast between their physical closeness and the disconnect between their minds felt laughable yet tragic.

"I see your point," Alessandro growled, "but I could argue that taking the life of one enemy also saves ten allies. Am I not striving for the greater good in this instance?"

Elyse fired back, "What about the millions you've made through violence and bloodshed? How many lives have you taken through cocaine sales? Think of the men you've destroyed through addiction and financial ruin."

Her words shot out like bullets. Addiction and financial ruin remained sore subjects for Elyse because ofPapá. Still, she hadn't meant to lose her cool. Elyse didn't know why they were fighting when they were supposed to be fucking. In a way, none of this his fault. And she was already in too deep to judge him. The wedding bands on her finger was proof of her hypocrisy. Nevertheless, here they were—fighting—like a feral beast and a spiteful bitch.

Alessandro's gaze narrowed sharply. "What about governments and corporations? How many lives have they taken through incompetence and greed? Unlike them, my line of work operates in the shadows, but you may be surprised to learn,wife, that the mafia is not so different from legal but corrupt institutions when all is said and done. We are all ruled by money and power. There is no such thing as a noble cause."

She spat, "Maybe not for men like you."

He spat back, "You aremarriedto a man like me."

All of a sudden, every ounce of stress and uncertainty and insanity from the past few weeks mounted within her into an uncontrollable ball of white-hot emotion. It burst, no holds barred, from her lips like an acid-laced bomb, "Then you'll be my burden to carry."

Instantly, his fiery demeanor dimmed. Alessandro looked deeply hurt. His voice grew quiet. "Is that how you view me?"

Instantly, regret swarmed her. Elyse tried to make amends, "I—"

"It is funny. Because I have always regarded you as a blessing."

Her fire diminished as well, the white-hot emotion dissolving into dying embers. She gazed helplessly into his brown and blue-gray eyes. "I'm sorry. I let my emotions get the better of me. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

He murmured in clipped tones, "Do not apologize. I asked for your truth. You gave it to me."

"I didn't mean to say such an awful thing."

"But you must have been thinking it. That is why you could not contain it."

Green eyes glistened with distress. "The last thing I want is to hurt you."

His jaw clenched. "But you have wounded me, nonetheless. I cannot change who I am. All I can do istryto be the best man I can be in this fucked up world of mine. Eventually, I hope you will be able to see me in a different light."

She began to panic. Even though Elyse didn't feel remorseful about speaking her truth, she felt like shit for attacking something that would be impossible for him to remedy. She tried to explain, "The way I feel about you isn't straightforward or simple—"

He cut her off and muttered, "Enough."

Elyse eyed him warily and insisted, "Please listen to me."

He shook his head. "I need to get ready for tonight. You should do the same."

Alessandro went on to place his hands upon her waist, setting her aside from his lap, and rose from the bed. He started walking away. Anxiously, Elyse attempted to call him back, "Wait!"

But he didn't seem to hear her. Alessandro was already in the bathroom. He then slammed the door shut like a surly teenager and turned on the shower at full blast. The message was clear. Her husband was in no mood to continue their conversation. A tightness seized her chest. So much for attending Mariposa's party as united sword and shield. Her mind floated back to Cara and Valentina with a grim expression. Now that there was trouble in paradise, the two she-snakes were probably going to try and drive an even deeper wedge between Alessandro and her. Reinforcements would be necessary.

---