Page 59 of Darkness

Fuck, she must hate me, I left her at my uncle’s house and I’ve not spoken to her for two days.

“She’s worried. And I agree with Tess, you’ve found someone, go talk to her.”

“And what if when I tell her, she runs? It’s a lot to-”

“I have no idea if she’s said it to you, but you can see she loves you. And you can’t fear telling her this fucked up part of your life, Cain.” Lincoln looks around the room, and so do I.

This was my home for a week once, they never let me out for a second. Never turned off the fucking music, nor the lights. Pain, there was so much fucking pain.

“Cain, what’s going on?” Lincoln is worried about me. It’s the same way I worry about him.

“What if I can’t protect her? I couldn’t protect Tess. Look out there, how many targets do I have on my back? How many of them are waiting for me to have a weakness? I have one, what if I’m not there-”

“You were in The Pit when shit went down with Tess, there was no way of protecting her. You’re not here now, you have me,you have your family. People who would protect her if you need them to. You’re not alone, you have to remember that.” I press my palms into my eyes as the pain shoots through them, as I let my mind think of Lincoln's words.

Maybe he’s right, I can protect her now that I'm free. But can I watch her every second of the day, protect her every second of the day?

“She left England because she was looking over her shoulder, what right do I have to make her look over her shoulder again?” I ask, because that's how I feel. I’m making her live in fear again, waiting for someone to hurt her to get to me.

What right do I have to put her in danger?

“And until she doesn’t know the truth, you don’t know. But like I said, you’re not alone. Not just with Autumn-Rose, but in life. Don’t cut everyone out, when they’re fighting to be let in.” Lincoln stands up and stands in front of me. “Autumn-Rose is the best thing that’s happened to you since coming out of The Pit, don’t fuck it up because you’re being a pussy.” He kicks my leg a few times. “Now get up.” I chuckle to myself. I can’t even stand at the moment, never mind walk. “Let’s get you home, cleaned up before you go see her.”

“You want to help me?” I ask him, and he helps me stand so I don’t lose my footing, and gives me a nod. “You’re leaving tonight, I’ll let you know all the details.” Lincoln looks at me, and places both his hands on my face, and gives me a nod.

Tomorrow is going to be a hard night for me, but whichever way it goes with Autumn, I need her to know that no matter what, I would do anything to make her happy.

Autumn-Rose needs to know she means a lot more to me than she thinks.

Twenty-Two

Autumn-Rose

God,today has been a day. It’s the night of the charity event, and still no word from Cain. I even went to the club to ask Lincoln where he was, and all I got was, ‘he needs time’. I call bullshit on that.

So what’s a girl do when her, I’m calling it, boyfriend disappears without one word or cell call. I got myself a cheese pizza, and a tub of ice cream, and watched some reality TV, and cry at other people’s messed up life, instead of mine.

I smell the roses which I got from the shop for myself, because the crazy messed up thing is I miss my daily rose from Cain. God, I miss that man.

Taylor Swift plays in my ear, nothing like some Taylor to heal a breaking heart. Walking up the stairs to my apartment, I smile at the couple exiting their apartment all dressed up and ready for a night out.

Reaching my floor, I stop a few steps away from the top, when I see the man I thought had walked away from me. He as handsome as ever. Shit I think he looks ten times hotter with a few days growth on him.

“Can we talk?” he asks, as he takes a few steps closer to me, and takes the pizza box from me. “I’m sorry.”

“How is your head?” I ask him, still not moving from where I am, because a part of me doesn’t want to move. He looks so handsome, but the other part is scared about what he has to say to me.

“Manageable. Who got you the flowers?” he asks, as he looks at the roses in my other hand. I finally take the last few steps up to my apartment.

“I got them myself, I missed my daily rose delivery at work.” I hand them over to him, and he takes them so I can open the front door to my apartment. “You know your print is on the system, you didn’t have to wait outside.”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d let me in.” I walk in, and he follows. Placing everything on the kitchen counter, and the first place I go is to the fridge to get the wine bottle. I have a feeling this conversation is going to need a glass or two. There is only one reason he is here, and that’s to tell me where the hell he’s been.

“Are you breaking up with me?” I ask, I might sound like a high school girl at the moment, but I don’t care. If he is, I want to know straight, I don’t need him to sugar coat it in any way. Rip it off like a plaster.

“No, but you might walk away after we talk.” Cain removes his suit jacket and looks at the time. I know the charity event is tonight, but that’s not for a few more hours. I made sure I finished work with enough time, in case Cain came back. Katy is closing up for me, so I know we have about four hours before we have to leave, if we’re still going.

“What do we need to talk about?” I ask, taking a sip, a big sip of my wine.

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