Page 6 of Darkness

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Tapping a message back to Lincoln as I walk through the doors to the ice rink, my fingers stop moving along the letters as the cold air breezes over the back of my neck.

What the fuck is that?

I look around to make sure no one else is here. They shouldn’t be. Logan hires the whole rink out for the lessons. I only know this because mom mentions it every time, hoping I will come here to see her, because she knows I don’t want anyone knowing who I am.

The only people I see are mom, Logan, Meadow and Poppy, so I have no idea what this messed up feeling is, which is hitting me like a warning.

What the fuck is that?

A quick look around again, nothing.

I look over at the woman who’s just fallen flat on her face as she skates over the ice. She can’t be the teacher. She can’t even skate herself.

Walking over to mom, I stop and put my hand out for Logan to shake, but he doesn’t take it. He acknowledges me with a nod. Nothing new there. One day he’ll understand why I didn’t come to him sooner, tell him the truth about who I was to him.

“Hi Cain.” Meadow gives me a smile. I know she’ll be fine with me; I gave her a job when she needed one. I even helped her to get with Logan.

“Hello, Mr. Cain.” Poppy looks up at me with a smile. I pat the top of her head, saying hello.

Turning to mom, who’s smiling at me I say, “What was so important that you needed to see me here, and couldn’t talk to me on the cell?” She leans in to give me a kiss on the cheek.

There is nothing I wanted more in the world to have my mom back in my life, but it isn’t what I pictured it would be. I should be thrilled I get to have her in my life, but I learned to livewithout her and my dad. Is there a part of me which blames her for all this? Yes. All she needed was some faith in the family, and she didn’t.

“There is going to be a charity event and David asked me to talk to you, to see if you could be there.” I shake my head a little, knowing I’m not going to be there, so not sure why he have even asked. “Just think about it. It’s for your dads-”

“I’ll think about it!” The harshness escapes a lot harder than I wanted it to, because I still don’t like her talking about him. Because it’s her fault he's not here today.

“Autumn-Rose.” Poppy shouts, stopping my mom from saying anything to me, and I look over at Poppy on the ice, to her teacher who’s again fallen. What type of fucking skater is she?

Twice she’s fallen on the ice now. I watch the woman getting back up and skating over to us. Turning my attention back to mom, I hear the woman talking. I block out what my mom is saying to me, while I listen to the woman’s British accent which has taken my attention away from everything around me.

“This is Mr. Cain.” I glance over at Meadow, who knows very well I do not want to be part of this conversation.

“Hi, I’m Autumn-Rose.” She puts her hand out for me, and I stare at it as I fight the pull in my hand to get out of my pocket and shake her hand, just to touch her, even though I don’t want to. Without even thinking about it, I pull my hand out of my pocket, but keep it at my side. I feel a shockwave move through it a few times, making it twitch.

Feeling my mom push my arm hard enough so it comes out in front of me, I take her hand in mine and say, “Hello.”

Three seconds. Three seconds is all it takes for her to pull her hand out of my grip, and the cold air hits the back of my neck again, and the voice in my head whispers. Faith.

Her body tenses up, and she quickly looks behind as the door slams shut. It makes me take a quick scan of the rink to see ifanyone has come in or not. What has her so on edge and jumpy, to the point you can see the fear in her eyes?

“Is there anything else?” I ask my mom, ignoring the stupid voice in my head.

“Dinner, tomorrow-”

“I’m away for two nights. Work.” I glance over at Logan when he makes a comment. He might be my half-brother and for the sake of mom, I’m trying with him. But he’s making it hard not to finally punch him in the face.

I’ve tried everything, helped him and his friends when they needed it. Without me, they would have nothing on his dad, and Travis wouldn’t have his girl right now. And what do I get for it?

Fucking nothing. It’s got to the point now that if he wants to talk to me, he can. If he doesn’t, I don’t care.

“O…okay, call me when you get back.” I hate it when she uses the voice of disappointment. She knows why I have to keep her away at a distance. It may not be the whole truth, but she knows enough to understand part of the reason. Saying bye to mom, and giving Logan a nod, I make my way out of the rink. Messaging Lincoln I let him know I’m on my way to The Pit. Not sure what’s happening to me, I stop by the door and look over at the rink once more. Watching Autumn-Rose move around the ice like a swan moving in the water is so smooth, so beautiful. Her name suits her, she looks as fragile as a rose, and when the door slams again I watch as she falls.

I fight whatever force or pull has me standing here watching her. There is nothing for me here. No-one so pure deserves to have my darkness around them. My darkness already took someone from me, and it will never happen again. Never.

Four

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