Page 29 of Darkness

I go to scream, but he grabs my face, his lips hitting hard against mine. I fight him, but it’s not getting me anywhere. Biting his bottom lip, making him finally move away from me, gives me the chance to get in the car quickly.

I jump when he slams his hand on the window.

“You’re mine! Remember that. Always mine!” he shouts into the window.

My body is shaking as I drive off quickly. Trying to calm myself down, as the tears escape my eyes.

He’s never going away. He will always be there.

No matter what happens in my life, being on the ice is home to me. I can be angry or sad. It is always going to be home.

Being on the ice will always make everything go away. I’m skating so much that I don’t have time to think of anything else. I still remember the day I fell in love with ice skating, then figure skating. This was all I ever wanted to do.

I begged my dad to get me a lesson. I wanted the dream. I wanted to take part in competitions, play for my country and I wanted to show the world that I'm their next big star.

And I did. I became a world Champion. I won every competition I ever took part in.

Do I miss it? Yes, every single day.

I had to stop, I didn’t have a choice.

Stopping competitions was something that broke me.

Why? Because sometimes people come into your life, for the wrong reasons. He came into my life and took everything from me. I had to stop the one thing I loved more than anything in the world because of him. That makes me hate him even more. I know one day he will find me. It didn’t matter what I did or said, he told me I’d be his. No matter what. I’m reminded of that every time I step on the ice.

As I slide along the ice, and I start spinning so fast everything around me is becoming a blur. Finally stopping, I take a deep breath.

It’s not him that brings me to the rink this morning. It’s Mr. Cain. I couldn’t stop thinking about him yesterday, then he had to come to the shop. I’m not interested in anything he has to say to me. He made me feel cheap, again. I felt like I was worth nothing. That is not something I want to feel like again.

I must be mad because all I did yesterday was sit on my bed, hoping I’d see him in his apartment. Again, there was nothing, not a light, not any movement. I honestly don’t even think he lives there.

The way Mr. Cain made me feel was nothing my body has ever felt before. It was as if I had been pulled out of my body, and handed it over to him to make me see the stars. And God, did I see the stars? He showed me the whole damn galaxy.

He made me feel like he wanted me. The way he was talking to me, the small comments he made, I thought he wanted me. I mean, he kissed me first. He asked me if I wanted to stop. He wanted it.

So what the hell happened? What did I do wrong that made him turn away from me like that?

Should I care? No. Do I care? Yes. I wanted him then. I still want him now.

I try to shake the stupid thoughts out of my head. I want him, but he wants nothing to do with me. I skate off the ice and get ready for a busy day in the shop. We have a few arrangements to make for collection today, then I also have to get a wedding finalized. I’ve made up the ideas I’m thinking about doing, so I need to email the designs through and hope they like them. And to top off my day, Katy is going to be asking about Mr. Cain again. Yesterday she wouldn’t shut up at all, and normally I’m happy to talk, but the subject was the same.

Grabbing my bag, I head out to my car, hoping that having a busy day will keep my mind away from the sexy green eyed man. Here’s to wishful thinking. I’m sure I know well that is going to work.

“You got a delivery,” Katy shouts as I stand outside the shop looking at the window, checking to see if my spring window display will work. I hope it does because I honestly think it’s my best idea yet. “You got a delivery!” Katy shouts again.

“I heard you.” I walk through the door, and walk straight out to the back so I can drop all my stuff in the office, then I make my way back to her. “You know you can sign for it.” I put out my hand to sign the paperwork.

“It’s not that type of delivery.” She points to the bouquet of red roses in the black vase. “Took me all morning to make it the way he wanted.” Katy is all excited about her work, and I have to say she’s done a good job, too.

The deep red and maroon colors look so good together. I smile as I take in the sweet scent of them. Taking out the card.

My English Rose

C

“Not much for words, but he knew the flowers he wanted. And he wrote the note himself.” My thumb moves over the words and I have to stop myself from smiling.

I can’t forgive him because he gave me flowers. Yet, my job creating beautiful bouquets is for when a boyfriend, or husband, messes up. They come here, write the note and ask for forgiveness.

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