Page 27 of Darkness

It’s the only answer I ever give her, because I know he will be here for two reasons. One, he never wants mom to be upset, and two, it’s a reason for him to finally see where I live. I have a fucked up feeling his two brothers will be coming with him. Great.

Standing up, I walk closer to the window. She looks up to the window one last time before turning off her bedroom light. Never did I think I would be the reason a woman would go to sleep broken.

***

Walking into Grandad’s place, I hear him in the garden talking to someone. “Cain.” He smiles, and the woman gives him a kiss on the cheek and leaves, but not before giving my ass a slap as she walks past me. “Come on, would you like some coffee?” He points to the pot on the garden table.

“No, I’m good.” Pulling out the chair in front of me, I sit down. “Before you start, if this is about mom and having lunch or dinner with her. She is coming over for lunch today.” He sits back in his chair and gives me a little nod, like he already knew this. I bet mom called him up to tell him.

“She told me-” there is a pause before he continues to talk. “So are the three boys.”

“Great,” I whisper.

That’s all I need is the three of them in my place.

“Are you planning on pushing us all away?” I look away from him and turn to everyone else sitting in the garden. There is no simple answer for him, because I don’t even know what to say. “Cain, let us be your family.”

“I have. I came back, didn’t I?” The words come across harsh, but it’s not how I wanted them to sound. “I could have stayed away, but I was fulfilling grandad’s wishes. One wish at a time. I’ve told mom and you about me, and I’m working out things with Uncle David.” The fucked up thing here is, no one understands the shit I went through. Everyone lost something that night, but I lost everything. Mainly the one man who riskedhis life for mine, the man I would in a heartbeat have taken his place when he went down.

“You did come back, but-”

“Grand-dad, I came back a man who did a lot of messed up shit to survive. I was a boy who should never have had to live the life I did. All because one person didn’t have faith in the family.” If he wants to hear it, then he can hear it. “One person killed my dad, made me go to hell at the age of eight. He had me kill a man at the age of ten, all because they didn’t have faith. So, if you think I’m going to forget all of that, I’m not. You think I’m going to forget all the shit that happened to

me in all those years. I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget Grandad’s words, I’ll never forget the look on all the men and women faces who died down there. The pain in my head will never let me forget the room I was thrown into. I’m here. Be happy with it.”

His eyes lock with mine. Fuck knows what he’s looking for but you learn to have a good poker face, you had to. You can be scared to death about what will happen, but you can never show it. Never.

“How many targets do you have on your back?” Now there’s the question I was wondering when he would ask.

“Too many. Someone is taking pictures. At the moment, I’m not doing anything as they are pictures of just me and no one else. If it escalates and someone else is in the pictures, then I’ll have to do something when I figure out what they want.” Grand-dad won’t be telling anyone this information, but it’s good to get it off my chest, though.

“Is it the reason you’re keeping your mother so far from you?”

“Yes, I can’t tell her the truth because it might put her in danger, so I’m doing the best I can here.”

I pull out my cell from my pocket as it vibrates, but I cancel the call.

“I’ll talk to her. If things get too much, do you have a plan?”

“If it’s what I think he wants, I have a plan. But I won’t go down without a fight. Took me a long time to take over The Pit. I’m not giving it to anyone.” I stand up, straightening out my jacket. “Now you know why I’m not talking to mom so much. Can I leave?” I ask, looking around the building, making sure everything feels right. I don’t like being out in the open, even if it is at my Grand-dad’s house.

“It would be nice to have a big family meal one day.” Grand-dad gets up and walks with me to the front door.

“Maybe one day. Uncle David keeps asking too.” Uncle David has been asking for a family meal for so long it’s annoying.

Looking at my watch, I see mom will be over in about two hours, which gives me some time to go over to the flower shop on the way home. I woke up this morning feeling worse than when I went to bed.

Lincoln’s words played on my mind, about moving on. Maybe I’m using the families looking into me as an excuse to not move on from Tess. Or it could be my past and demons shouldn’t be allowed to get close to my English Rose. The second my eyes opened this morning, there was only one word being whispered around me. Autumn-Rose.

I don’t understand the pull she has on me. I have no idea why I feel like I need to be close to her. One thing I do know is that I can, and will, protect her if I need to. I was in The Pit and couldn't protect Tess, but I’m here now. I have power. Nothing is ever going to hurt her. I realize I did that very thing last night and I want to put that right.

Getting in the car, I send Lincoln a quick message letting him know I’m still out and to keep an eye out for mom when she gets there. The annoying thing about lunch is that all three of theboys are going to be there with her. It’s the last thing I want, but here I am trying to make mom happy. That’s all I want for her.

I park on the other side of the road from, Sweet Rose Flower shop, and watch her smiling as she puts together some flowers. That’s the light I’m going to take away from her if I continue seeing her, but maybe she’s the one who won’t even care about everything I’ve been through. Maybe by some miracle she might bring me something I’m missing in my life. Peace

Taking a deep breath in, I get out of the car, walking over to the shop, not caring if someone sees me, because right now it only looks like I’m getting some flowers from a shop.

I stop by the door, making her stop mid step, her eyes lock with mine. Oh, I’ve had those types of eyes stare at me before. Daggers are shooting from them. Fuck, I grew up with stares which could kill.

---