Page 94 of Penalized Love

“Hey,” I say softly, reaching over to squeeze her knee before placing my hand back on the steering wheel. “It’s gonna be alright. We are ready for this.”

I can see her turn to look at me before she speaks.“But I can’t stop thinking about what if he benches you, Ash? What if this ruins your shot at the pros? I’d never forgive myself...”

“Stop,” I cut her off gently. “Everything will be fine, and you can’t let yourself spiral due to what-ifs. This isn’t just about hockey. It’s about you and me and about how much I love you.”

I grimace slightly as the mood in the car shifts because of my confession. This isn’t how I imagined telling her I loved her again for the first time in years, but here we are. Sometimes, the best moments are spontaneous, I guess.

Isla is silent for a few moments, and I wonder how much I messed this up. I hear her let out a gigantic sigh, but I can barely hear it because of what feels like the blood rushing in my ears. This happens when I’m on the ice, but I can’t remember the last time it happened when I was in a private setting.

She reaches over and squeezes my knee in much the same manner that I did just a few seconds ago.“I love you too. So much. But I’m still scared of what you might lose because of this.”

The panic in my head and heart stops immediately. I intertwine our fingers and bring her hand up to press a tender kiss against her knuckles.

“We’re not going to lose a thing, and we won’t lose each other. In fact, we have so much to gain after this meeting, sunshine…. And I never thought I would say those words.”

That makes her laugh. I’ve accomplished my goal. If there is anything I can do to reduce the burden she’s carrying, I will do so, even if I am nervous about how all of this is going to go.

I keep our fingers laced as I pull into the arena parking lot. What normally has a very calming effect on me because I know I will be hitting the ice is anything but as I throw my car into park.

“We’re here,”I say unnecessarily because we both know that.

She nods as she does deep breathing exercises to calm herself down. I place another kiss on the back of her hand as I check the clock.

Two minutes until I’m supposed to meet with her father, which means I should head in now.“Let’s go, baby.”

I step out of the car, the crisp air hitting my face as I round the front of my car to the passenger’s side. Opening her door, I extend my hand to help her out. She takes it, her fingers trembling slightly in mine. I give them a reassuring squeeze.

“Hey,”I whisper, tucking a strand of her windblown hair behind her ear.“It’s going to be okay. We’re in this together, remember?”

Isla nods, leaning into my touch for a moment before straightening her shoulders.“I know. Everything is going to be fine. I have to hold on to that thought.”

“That’s all we can do right now,”I reply, agreeing with her. I kiss her on the forehead before I grab her hand again. Together, hand in hand, we walk toward the arena entrance. Is it the smartest thing to hold her hand so her father can see us before we have this conversation? No, but I need to touch and comfort her and myself.

Once we’re in the building and make a turn for the tunnel, we make our way toward Coach Johnson’s office. The walk down the hallway seems to take forever, but Isla’s hand tightens around mine as we approach the door I need to walk through.

I pause a few feet away and turn to face her. I cup her face gently, and my thumbs brush lightly over her cheekbones.“No matter what happens in there, it doesn’t change how I feel about you. About us. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

“Okay,” she whispers. “I love you.”

Hearing her repeat those words blows my mind.“I love you too, Isla. More than anything.”I press a soft kiss to her lips before pulling away.

Isla steps to the side, hiding herself from view as I walk the last few steps to Coach Johnson’s office alone. Taking a deep breath, I raise my hand and knock firmly on the door. There’s a beat of heavy silence, and then Coach’s voice calls out,“Come in.”

I glance at Isla one last time before I turn the doorknob and step into what feels like the lion’s den. Coach looks up at me as I step into his domain. I close the door behind me, and I swear theclicking of it engaging with the doorframe sounds louder than usual.

“Asher,” he says. “Take a seat.”

I do as he says and sit in the chair across from him. Normally, I would look around to see what trophies, photos, and newspaper articles he might have added to his collection because of all the accolades he’s won, but I can’t bring myself to do so.

Coach Johnson leans back in his chair.“Bennett, why did you want to have this meeting?”

“I want to talk to you about....”my voice trails off just before I rip off the proverbial Band-Aid.“…about Isla.”

Coach Johnson’s jaw tightens when I mention his daughter.“What about her?”

I swallow hard because my mouth has gone dry. The glare that he is serving me is warranted, but I refuse to let it intimidate me.

“Isla and I are together,” I say.“We are dating.”

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