Page 60 of Penalized Love

Do I want to have sex with Isla? Yes, without a doubt, but it’s so much more than that. I want to wake up next to her every morning, be the reason she smiles, support her dreams, and be her rock when life slaps her in the face. I caused one of those challenges she experienced, and I will never get over the look that appeared on her face when I told her I was done. However, I meant it when I told her I would prove she could trust me again.

With a heavy sigh, I throw on clothes for practice and grab my hockey bag. As I walk down the stairs, I hear my roommates getting ready, but I don’t bother waiting for them because I want to be alone.

The drive to the rink is unremarkable, and when I get there, I notice that Coach Johnson and Levi are here before me. Levi didn’t mention coming in early, so I’m curious about what that is all about. The locker room is quiet because most of the guys haven’t arrived yet, but I see Levi standing there, half-dressed in his gear.

“Hey, man, you’re early,”I say as I drop my bag on the bench.

“I could say the same for you.”

I shrug because he’s not wrong.“Everything good?”

“Couldn’t sleep. I figured I might as well come in and get some extra shots in.”

“Hailey wasn’t there to help knock you out?”

Levi chuckles. “She pulled an all-nighter last night to finish a paper. She was still awake when I left my place to come here.”

“I know the feeling, man. Last night wasn’t too bad, but my sleep has been screwed for a while because my mind’s been all over the place.”

Levi raises an eyebrow, and I already know where this is going.“Does this have anything to do with a certain blonde photographer we both know?”

I’m not shocked that he picked up on it.“Is it that obvious?”

“Only to those who know you well,”Levi says, sitting on the bench to lace up his skates.“Want to talk about it?”

I hesitate for a moment because I don’t know if I’m ready to unleash my thoughts about what happened the night of the team bonding event. Or how that moment has lived rent-free in my mind ever since. I check the time and realize that our teammates will be coming in at any minute, so it makes sense not to discuss this here. Plus, if Coach or anyone else on staff hears me talking about Isla, I’m screwed.

“Not now, man. The guys will be here soon, and I don’t want anyone to overhear. Especially not Coach.”

“Got it. But hey, if you need to talk later, I’m here for you, okay?”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.”I clap him on the shoulder before starting to gear up for practice.

As predicted, the locker room soon fills up as everyone tries to make sure they are on time for practice. I keep my head down, focusing on suiting up and trying to push thoughts of Isla from my mind. I need to focus.

But even though I’m happier than I’ve been in days, I know I’m off my A-game. My passes are sloppy, and my shots are wide of the net. Coach blows the whistle, his eyes narrowing as he watches me fuck up another play.

“Bennett! Get your head out of your ass and focus!”he barks.

I grit my teeth, frustrated with myself because I can’t stop thinking about his daughter’s ass.“Yes, Coach.”

My gaze lands on Knox, who I figured would have a smirk on his lips, but his face is blank. I try to shake off Coach’s words, but my mind keeps drifting back to Isla. However, I get it together enough that I don’t experience the wrath of Coach anymore during practice.

As I’m unlacing my skates in the locker room after practice, Levi plops down beside me on the bench.“Okay, spill. What happened with Isla?”

I glance around to make sure no one’s within earshot before turning to face him. I lean forward to whisper in his ear.“Our relationship, or whatever this is, is so chaotic that she goes from hating me one minute to wanting me to fuck her the next.” I don’t elaborate because I know I don’t need to.

Levi’s eyes widen. “Whoa. We’ve had some wild moments, but this might top it.”

“It’s like whiplash, but I’m not going to lie and say that the moments where things are great haven’t been fantastic. Everything I’ve ever wanted and more.” I run a hand through mysweat-dampened hair. “But then she pulls away, and then she’s back. And I know it’s because we’re both working on our own stuff.”

“Which we all are, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t rough.”

“Tell me about it. I can’t stop thinking about her, but I don’t want to push too hard and scare her off for good. Plus, we’re still filming content, so we have to be around each other.”

“I hear you, and letting her take the lead so you can figure out where her headspace is and supporting her that way is the right way to go. Let her sort through her feelings without feeling pressured.”

“But what if she decides she doesn’t want anything to do with me?” I can’t help but sound desperate because I am.

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