Page 53 of Penalized Love

“Right, of course,”Isla agrees, bending down to put her camera back in her bag.“I’ll catch up with you later for more filming?”

“Sounds good. Text me when you finish classes, and we’ll figure something out.”

With that, we part ways. As I walk into the building, I still think about the conversation I had with my mom. I know I did the right thing, but I can’t help feeling pissed off. Maybe resentment is the better word for it. Not toward my family, who have made more than their fair share of sacrifices for me, but toward the situation. Toward the fact that no matter how hard I work, it never seems to be enough to get us ahead.

At least for now.

I shake my head, determined to silence the inner voice that tells me I’ll never be good enough. It’s crucial that I stay focused right now and not let anything distract me. I need to focus on my classes and on hockey. I sit in the back of the classroom and pull out my notebook. It is time to force myself to tune into the lecture versus my personal life.

21

ISLA

The cursor on my laptop blinks at me like it’s mocking my attempt to stay on top of things. I have my precalculus notes scattered around me, along with half-finished problem sets and some I haven’t even started yet. On my monitor are photos I’ve been staring at for an hour.

How does anyone make sense of this?

I’m at the point where I want to take my brain out of my head and bash both of them against the wall. The tension in my shoulders is almost becoming painful, and I can feel the headache forming. I rub my temples in an attempt to stop it from coming on, but to no avail.

This doesn’t include the things I need to get done for one of my photography classes and the hockey team. I hate to admit that I’m falling behind, and I might have to pull a couple of all-nighters to catch up.

Maybe I’m foolish for trying to do two things at once. Focusing on just one is going to be hard, but that might be the way forward. Photography might be a reward for getting my math homework done.

As I’m about to try to accomplish something, I move my mouse, and the cursor doesn’t move. I pause and move my Bluetooth mouse again, and I get the same result.

What. The. Hell?

My laptop is frozen.

No, no, no. Not now.

I frantically press the keys, trying to get any sort of response, but nothing happens. I resist the urge to slam my head against the desk, knowing it will only make my headache worse. At this point, the universe is laughing at me.

“Having a rough day?”

The voice startles me out of my frustration. I look up to see Asher standing there with what looks to be two cups of coffee in his hands. He places one cup in front of me, along with a couple of sandwiches from Brewed Beginnings. I forgot we agreed to meet at the library this evening.

“You could say that,”I mutter, eyeing the coffee in his hand.“Thanks for this. You’re a lifesaver.”

Asher pulls out a chair next to me and sits down.“I figured we both could use a pick-me-up.”He looks over at my textbook before he responds.“Pre-calc kicking your ass?”

I let out a humorless laugh.“That’s an understatement. I swear, I can’t understand these equations. They’re written in another language. Not to mention my laptop has decided to be a proper dick.”

That makes Asher laugh. “Want me to take a look?”

I stare at him for a moment and slide the textbook and binder over to him.“Be my guest. But I warn you, it’s a mess.”

Asher flips through the pages and sighs several times as he scans the equations. After a moment, he looks up at me with a sympathetic smile.“I can see why you’re struggling. This stuff is no joke.”

“Tell me about it.”I take a sip of the coffee he brought. I can’t believe he actually remembers how I like my coffee. The warmth and caffeine are more than welcome.“I feel like I’m drowning.”

“Well, let’s see if we can make some sense of it together.”Asher scoots his chair closer to mine, and the next thing I know, our shoulders are touching as he leans over the textbook to get a closer look.

At that moment, I realize that his cologne, the scent that feels like a warm hug, surrounds me. I’m ready to swoon over this coffee and the smell of his cologne, but I can’t.

I do my best to focus on the work in front of me. Asher starts explaining the problem, but my mind keeps drifting to how close he is to me and his cologne.

“Isla? Are you following?”Asher’s question snaps me back to reality. He takes a sip of his coffee as his green eyes land on me.

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