Page 43 of Penalized Love

Me: I needed to get out of my room because of you-know-who and could hang out there through your shift.

Selene: Ah. That’s fine, and then you can come back to my place.

Me: Thanks so much. I’m so grateful for you.

Selene: As you should be.

Selene: Just kidding. I love you, too. See you soon.

I smile at my phone before stuffing it back into my pocket. She’s absolutely ridiculous, but I love her, so I guess that’s why I keep her around. Plus, we can talk about the latest that has happened between Asher and me because I haven’t filled her in.I wanted to wait until I processed it. However, at this point who knows when that will be?

As I approach the library, my phone buzzes with another notification. Expecting it to be Selene, I glance at the screen, only to see that I have a new email. It’s from Bailey, and I’m left confused by the subject of the message.

The subject line of Bailey’s email reads, “Meet Tomorrow?” Confusion floods my brain. I stare at my screen for a moment before tapping on the message to open it.

Hey Isla,

If you have time, I’d like to meet with you tomorrow to discuss your work and a few other things. Would 10 a.m. work? If not, let me know what times work.

Best,

Bailey

I frown at my phone screen, trying to decipher the cryptic message. Discuss my work? A few other things? What could it be about? I can’t figure out what I might have done wrong. Should my mind have gone straight to me thinking I fucked up? Probably not, but that’s where it goes.

Could it be about Asher? Not too many people know about our history, and they shouldn’t know what has gone down in the last week.

Did Asher tell anyone?

But that doesn’t make sense either. I would also expect to hear from my dad if it was about Asher.

My mind races with possibilities as I stare at Bailey’s email, my feet carrying me on autopilot toward the library. Could it be about my photography work for the team? Did I somehow messup an assignment without realizing it? Or... is it about Asher? The thought sends a jolt of anxiety through my body.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves as I type out a reply.

Hi Bailey,

10 a.m. works for me. I’ll see you then.

Sincerely,

Isla

I hit send before I can second-guess myself. I shove my phone back into my pocket because my anxiety is climbing. Now I have something else that’s going to screw with my brain until after 10 a.m. tomorrow. But I have to focus on the work I need to complete right now.

The entrance to Ramsey Library is finally only feet away. I say finally because it feels as if so much has happened in the last hour. Warm light spills out of the enormous windows, and I can see rows and rows of bookshelves from across the street.

I walk through the automated doors and stop. Selene will be working at the circulation desk soon, so it makes sense for me to stay on the main floor so that she will see me when she comes in. I scan the room, searching for an empty table where I can set up my stuff for the next few hours.

Spotting a somewhat secluded area near the computer lab, I make my way over to the table in question. I settle into a computer chair with wheels and pull out my laptop, binders, and highlighters for the second time this evening. I arrange them neatly on the small table in front of me and open my laptop.

The first thing I do is print out all the papers I need to read about media and society. If I’m going to the library, I’m going to read and digest the information the way I want to, which just sohappens to be by highlighting things and taking notes the old-fashioned way.

Once I collect my printouts, I put my headphones on, press play on my playlist, and get to work. The change in scenery and being able to mark up the documents does wonders for my focus because I find myself getting things done. The words flow more easily now as I highlight passages and write down key points that I’m taking from the reading. Time seems to slip away as I work. The outside world has faded into the background, and I’m finally getting things done.

A gentle tap on my shoulder startles me back to reality. I look up to see Selene standing beside me with a soft smile. I take my headphones out so that she can speak to me. “Hey, best friend. How’s it going?”

I lean back in my chair, stretching my arms above my head. “Better now that I’m here, if I’m being honest.”

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