Page 10 of Sidelined Love

My eyes drift down to look at what I'd already written from today's lesson. My neat penmanship shows I've at least been listening somewhat, and if I get called out for my daydreaming, I at least have something to say.

As my professor continues to talk about the importance of trees and parks, my mind wanders off into its own little world. It's a place where I can replay the events that happened this morning at Brewed Beginnings on repeat without judgment.

As much as it irritates me, Levi's actions toward Marc are living rent free in my head. It is so silly for me to overthink this, especially since Levi is a complete stranger and everything I know about him I'm not a fan of.

Including the fact that he plays hockey. Well that's more so because hockey and sports aren't my thing.

Why am I even thinking about this? It was a fleeting moment and chances are, given how many students are on Crestwood's campus, I probably will not see him again.

Yet nothing could remove the encounter from my mind.

As I pack up my things, I can't help but be excited about the project. I debate whether I should mention something to Professor Klein after class. However, there are a few people waiting to speak to her so now probably isn't a great idea.

Instead, I leave and head to the library until I need to go back to the coffee shop. However, this time, it won't be to work a shift.

I get lost in studying and time passes by quickly, and before I know it, it's time for me to return to Brewed Beginnings.

As I walk through the front door, I confirm I'm the first one there. It's what I prefer to have happen because it helps show that I'm committed to this organization.

I wave to another person I sometimes work with, Jenna, and say a silent thank you because Marc isn’t here. Then I move along to transform one corner of the coffee shop into a space fit for our meeting.

Tiredness begins to make its way into my body as I rearrange tables and chairs into some semblance of order. Marc allows me to put up a sign to direct people to where chess club meets, and I make sure it is up. Once I'm finished setting up, members start trickling in. I swallow how I want to react and try to be as friendly as I can muster.

“Yo,” I say when I glance up and see Jeff, a longtime member of the club.

Jeff raises an eyebrow.

“Well good evening to you too,” he says, plopping his backpack down. “Having a shitty day?”

“Isn't that every day?” I snap. “But no. Just tired and wish I would have taken a nap between the end of class and our meeting.”

“I hear that.”

I take a deep breath to steady myself as I see a few new faces walk into Brewed Beginnings and head in our direction. Time to put on my game face and make sure the smile I'm wearing doesn't look completely fake.

“Hello and welcome to chess club,” I say as I approach them. “I'm Hailey, president of the club. I've already set up some boards and you can sit at any table where there is one. We've got clocks for timing games if you wish to use them. I'll also be teaching some of the basics over here. There's coffee and snacks on the counter. If you have any questions, please let me know.”

I give them a thin smile, hoping to keep our interactions short and to the point. The less I have to say, the better. I glance at the display case that still has pastries and other treats. I make a mental note that I should get a brownie because it's my favorite item that Brewed Beginnings sells, and I haven't eaten since this morning.

Once the new members have settled in, I quickly realize no one wants to be taught the basics, much to my relief. I retreat to the counter and chit chat with Jenna as she grabs me a pastry. It will not settle my stomach for long, but at least I have food in my body. I take one last look around the room, making sure that no one needs anything, before deciding it's time for my own game.

I find an empty table and set up a chessboard for myself. Playing by myself has always given me an opportunity to unwind, and after today, I desperately need it.

As I sit there moving both sets of pieces, I fall into a rhythm. Each move is a silent conversation with myself, a strategic dance in a way that helps clear my mind. The clink of the pieces as they touch the board is therapeutic, the familiar patterns of the game comforting.

While I don't mind having an opponent, there is something about playing by myself that I absolutely love. Each move gives me time to reflect and process my feelings, giving me the opportunity to settle the thoughts in my mind.

At least somewhat.

Although I'm aware of my surroundings, it all fades into the background. Time slows down as I stare at the board in front of me. The pawn in my hand gives me something to roll between my fingers while I think about my next move.

I carefully set down the pawn, having finally decided on my next move. As I reached for my knight, the tension I've apparently been holding in my shoulders lessens. I take a moment and look up to see if anyone is looking over at me, needing my attention, but everyone is focused on what move they need to make next.

Perfect.

I shift my attention back to the chessboard, studying the arrangement of pieces. I have many options for my next move with my knight, each with advantages and disadvantages to consider. But one thing is obvious. Here, in this moment, it is just me and the game.

Finally, I make my decision. With a soft clink, I set down the knight, taking the other color's bishop. I lean back and survey how things have changed on the board. There is still more that needs to be done before I can wrap this up. I quickly finish the game and rise from my chair, stretching my muscles in the process. With a heavy sigh, I know it's time to socialize once more.

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